BM thinks the world revolves around her and what she wants all the time....
So BM sent DH a letter that was notarized and sent certified stating that she wants to have her 21 day stay for the summer from July 20th until August 9th. Then she texts last night asking DH if he is coming to pick up the skids this weekend. Ok BM really!!! So DH took a picture of the letter and sent it to her in a text message. I mean either she is just that stupid and forgot that she sent the letter or she just thinks that she doesn't have to follow the CO and can do what she wants and DH has to bend to her whims like he did in the past. It's like clock work though. I told DH watch she is going to text you to ask you if you are picking up the skids this weekend even though she sent you that letter a few months ago and sure enough she asked him. Then today she will start in on the emotional manipulation bull****. Like oh you don't want to see your kids that's messed up or why can't you act like an adult and just give me a straight answer. Well DH is just following the CO and you aren't. Yes he does want to see his kids but she chose to have a 21 day stay for the summer which means that she has the skids from July 20th until August 9th. I know there will be text messages pouring in today because she isn't getting her own way.
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I hope DH ignore her. If he
I hope DH ignore her. If he has to reply he should simply keep on sending her the letter back where she said when she wants to have the kids and then ignore her over and over again.
When DH finally gets the kids, be sure BM would've told then their father does not want them. He can simply explain that not following a court order is illegal and he does not want to be a criminal (or if BM gets them to call and start whining they miss him)
Instead of texting her a
Instead of texting her a picture of the letter, why did he not just text, "No, per your notarized letter, you have them 21 days straight."
Straight forward and just as easy, if not easier than taking a picture of a letter and texting it to her. Your DH is as bad as she is. He thinks he's being clever or whatever, sending her just a picture of the letter as an answer, but he's just inviting more drama, just playing the game with her.
why can't you act like an adult and just give me a straight answer.
Why CAN'T he act like an adult and just give her a straight answer? Personally, if my DH did this stupid crap, I would figure he liked the back and forth with her.
Some people make plans for
Some people make plans for when their kids are with the other parent. That doesn't make them bad or evil.
OP and DH might be looking forward to having a quiet weekend with no kids and that's enough.
BM legally requested to have the kids for the 21 days. She is legally obligated to care for them during that time. It's not right of her to just expect her ex to jump and come get the kids so she can do whatever on the weekend. She should have been up front about her plans.
BM over here use to try that
BM over here use to try that crap till it blew up on her.
She would refuse to let him have the kids if he didn't do exactly what she wanted. This was before they had even started the divorce so he couldn't do much about it.
He found out when she refused him. She'd still go leave them with her mom's so she could go party.
Well one weekend when she refused him she tried to leave them with mom but mom was sick and said no. BM contacts my SO demanding he come get the kids.
Nope can't do already made other plans. BM text him calling him all sorts of crap, that he's a horrible father, on and on. She then gets her mom to call.
SO calmly explained that he would have had them this weekend but BM refused to let him then threatened to call the cops on me. I was with him that night because of our other plans.
Point is. They will do what you let then get away with. Sure it sucks and yes SO wanted his kids but it's not fair to him OR them to go through that.
Kids are priority and shouldn't just be handled off the second the parent is bored. It's fine to have plans set up but these kids were told they would be with mom for 21 days. Suddenly going to dad's for the weekend is confusing.
"BM used to tell DH that he
"BM used to tell DH that he couldn't see SD on the days and times he requested. Then, at the last minute she would send texts like "aren't you coming to get her?" and "I told her she was going with you today"."
BM used to pull the same exact crap. The ultimate gatekeeper until it didn't align with her life and/or plans.
Within hours of the day, it could go between "No, you can't see skid. It's not your day and that doesn't work for me. Leave me alone. Click" to "Skid wants to see you. Do you want to spend time with your daughter or not?!"
BM would all but push skid out of a slow moving car in front of our house, before burning rubber down the street, because she couldn't unload skid fast enough.
Then, a very young skid, skipping up the walkway, would tell us "Mommy has plans with her friend ________ (insert flavor of the week)."
Classic.
He is following a CO Lashy.
He is following a CO Lashy. It's sad that you think my DH should jump at BM's every whim and not follow a CO!!! This has nothing to do about spending time with the kids. BM wanted this time and sent him a notarized letter and he is abiding by it. Just because BM wants something doesn't mean she gets it.
Ignore her. Lashy is a
Ignore her. Lashy is a pathetic little troll who shows up here under various names now and then to make nasty comments. People who have been reading this site long enough have got her number.
Just. Shut. Up. Lashy. BM
Just. Shut. Up. Lashy.
BM sent a letter telling this man that she was going to have her uninterrupted time with the kids.
Now she wants him to come get the kids.
Nope - and it's not because he "won't take his kids extra just so he can stick it to bm." It's because SHE TOLD HIM she was taking that time.
Thank you WalkOnBy that is
Thank you WalkOnBy that is exactly what is going on
if he insists in the back and
if he insists in the back and forth:
"oh you don't want to keep your kids for the 21 days you wanted? you sent me a notarized letter saying you wanted them from July 20 - August 9, and now you're giving me a hard time because I'm reminding you of that, trying to guilt me by using my love for the kids into this? You're saying I don't love them because I won't take them early - should I say that you don't love them because you're trying to dump them back on me a week early?"
lol
He should just stop responding.
Or - he should send her a notarized letter that has a copy of HER Letter in it... "please see the letter you sent, indicating YOU WANTED the kids until August 9. Please stop sending me texts saying I must not love my kids because I haven't agreed to take them back a week early."
Copy the lawyer.
"Instead of texting her a
"Instead of texting her a picture of the letter, why did he not just text, "No, per your notarized letter, you have them 21 days straight.""
This. What hereiam stated.
I don't think he should get
I don't think he should get into ANY discussion with BM. Just a short "I will pick them on the 9th as per your instructions" with a copy of the letter attached. Repeat if necessary.
Too much drama in the other stuff. No need to discuss who does and does not want to spend time with them. Or who loves them.
Neither here nor there in
Neither here nor there in what you're posting about, but I'm nosy. Did BM ever take the kids to Mexico as she was planning to and made the big to-do over getting the passports for?
Yes she took the kids to
Yes she took the kids to Mexico. Don't have any idea when she got the passports but they did go to Mexico already.
It's sad that he won't take
It's sad that he won't take his kids extra just so he can stick it to bm.
What a crock. There is nothing wrong with him not taking the kids on BM's time. She wanted 21 straight days, she's got 'em.
Exactly is it a crock of
Exactly is it a crock of bull**** when someone is just following the CO and a notarized letter and someone says that my DH is just trying to stick it to BM. It is about not violating the CO and the letter that BM sent him.
Asshat used to take my kids
Asshat used to take my kids to Colorado for six weeks each summer. He is from there and his parents still lived there. Oh, and he and Money-Ka finished the cabin in the mountains that Asshat and I started...
Every year, without fail, he would ask me if I wanted to have the kids back for a week or two.
Nope - court order says six weeks, ya got six weeks, buddy. I know they got on his nerves, but hey, I had them the majority of the time back then, and I needed/wanted the break.
My only response to his request? "Careful what you demand to be put in a court order, dear."
My ex is that way too,
My ex is that way too, bitches and moaned that he is entitled to more time blah blah blah, I offer him more time and well that doesn't work. Well wtf, everyone is supposed to up end their lives so you can parent when it is convenient and play the victim because of your own decisions.
She demanded it so she should stick to it. I think he needs to just spell it out verses being passive aggressive by just sending the letter back. If she responds back about him not wsnting the kids, tell her well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black.