You are here

I think we might need to go to therepy

sweethoney's picture

Submitted by sweethoney on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 5:26pm

today has been really hard, and I'm not sure if I can keep compromising myself to be in this relationship.

I'm very bitter I guess
I'm bitter that he drives my car that I bought before we were really serious with eachother to work, and two hours to get his son and that I can't go anywhere during the day unless I drive the truck, which never has gas in it and hes not consistant on paying the insurance.
I'm bitter that I have to cut my time short with my family because he needs some one to watch his son.
I'm bitter that I shouldn't tell him about any of this because he needs to do well at work and if I stress him out then he might not do as well
I'm bitter at all the things he expects from me but I'm nagging if I ask him to do something he had already agreed to do.
I'm bitter that I gave up my job, my family and my life to move for him.
I'm bitter because we have to spend the money to get his son, yet we couldn't really even do much for my son's birthday and have to make it up to him now.
I'm bitter that we can't pay our mortage this month but we have to pay 400 dollars for a kid we hardly see
I'm bitter that he keeps telling me to get a job, and hasels me for not looking when I don't have a car to look for a job, and if I did find one he would expect me to take off work to watch his son when he has him of course
I'm angry that I have tried so hard but he is selfish and this may not work because of it. I miss my family, I'm sick of being alone all of the time. I feel very very stupid for giving myself up for some one, to the point that I don't even know who I am anymore, or how to get me back.

what can I do to save this?

Comments

halfstepmom2skids's picture

Submitted by halfstepmom2skids on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 5:44pm

He doesnt and never will listen to how you feel if he doesn't already. I say you disengage from him and how much grief he is causing you, then pick up yourself mentally, and then move back where your family is. Being lonely is the worse feeling in the world. Take care of yourself and be happy.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 5:50pm

I agree with the others leave, ether it will be a wake up call or he is just using you. sorry but I wold never have let him do that to me in the first place. I love my Independence and will never give it up for anyone. I refused to be a free baby sitter, maid, cook, or door mat. I never did any of these things form the beginning.

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 6:00pm

I'm sorry to see you so unhappy. Have you been able to communicate these things to him? How about showing him the list that you just posted? Is it possible that he's unaware of these things, and that he might be able to work on them a bit once he knows?

sweethoney's picture

Submitted by sweethoney on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 6:45pm

thank you, we are married, I think that is why it is so hard at this point to leave. He recently changed jobs before that everything was always taken care of. It has just been a very stressful time

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 10:26pm

Reading your blog, honestly, it sounds like it's "all about him" all the time.

From what I'm getting out of it, you walk around on eggshells (you can't stress him because he might not do well at work, but he hassles you to get a job, which you would have to schedule around his child? Is that right?).

That's not a marriage. That's what governesses do. But governesses have full benefits, their home and a ride paid for, and a stipend to go with it. You are being treated like a field slave.

Do you have family that can help you take a little break for a while and think about things? As in, outside DH and SSs house? Start doing something for you. That sounds like a terrible existance.