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I'm doing it. I'm leaving him.

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Submitted by SunshineGirl on Wed, 06/30/2010 - 5:08pm

Someone, please... assure me that I am doing the right thing. I feel in my heart this is right, but I'm terrified, I need to hear it from someone else. My biggest fear is our BD4. The thought of sharing custody and spending more than one night with out her breaks every piece of my heart. The fact that I can't be there all the time to protect her from his mood swings, to allow him to take out his anger on me instead of the kids. What if skids feel betrayed? I will never see them. Disrespectful as they are, I love them. He gets to stay in our home. I have to move.

Why can't i just leave?

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Submitted by SunshineGirl on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 6:52pm

It sounds so simple when you type it out. Doesn't feel that simple though. I know he will never change. He will never support or respect me and neither will his kids. I know I'm only teaching my daughter that its okay to let a man control, manipulate, and disrespect a woman. I know its not healthy for anyone involved. I don't know why I am so terrified to leave. Well, I'm sure I can think of a million reasons, but I know in the back of my mind they are just excuses. It's like jumping of a high dive... he pushes me to the edge, then begs me not to jump.

Proud of myself.

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Submitted by SunshineGirl on Wed, 05/19/2010 - 3:47pm

BM and I have never been on talking terms, she has always done her best to act as if I don't exist. It's worked well for the past 5 years, but recently she decided to call DH and tell him to tell me that I needed to "back the f*** off" regarding an issue we were having with SD14.

Keep in mind that conflict avoidance is one of my biggest issues that I am working to overcome.

Just frustrated... he just doesn't get it

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Submitted by SunshineGirl on Tue, 04/13/2010 - 11:03am

Not a big deal really, I just need to vent and maybe get a little bit of validation. Here's what happened...

DH: "Ugh! SS10 threw the clean laundry all over the floor!"
ME: "Maybe we should have him fold everything after school today."
DH: "I will deal with him how ever I want to. I don't need you to tell me how. I will just send him to bed early."
ME: "It doesn't seem fair that now the rest of the kids will have to clean up his mess, while he relaxes in bed"
DH: "You know what, don't worry, I will deal with MY kids the way I want to."

Im feeling hopeful today... just wanted to give a little shout out to my fellow Step parents

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Submitted by SunshineGirl on Wed, 04/07/2010 - 5:26pm

To love, support, and care for children that may never understand or reciprocate that love is truely selfless. Thank you to my fellow sparents for the advice you have given and the stories you have shared. I have only been on here two days and I already feel much better about some of the issues I have been having. And thank you to my skids, who have unknowingly turned me into a more loving and selfless person.

First time here... what to do?

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Submitted by SunshineGirl on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 12:59pm

I am having issues with my sd. She is 14. We recently found out that she... In her words "tried marijuana one time" and told a friend that she wants to loose her Ivirginity by age 15. When I told her father... he had "a talk" with her and has yet to discipline her in any way. Of course, during "the talk" she cried and said how ashamed she was about the marijuana and completely denied the other issue. Of course daddy bought it.. hook, line and sinker. When I try to bring it up, he gets defensive and asks that I let him and the ex deal with it their way. He seems to be I'm complete denial.