Another school year begins....
SSs are passive participants at best in planning their education. BM is clueless and I think assumes (correctly in most cases) that she can just go in screaming or crying to the guidance counselor and change things after the fact. If DH expresses an opinion, he is told he is making the kids feel bad...most information is kept from him and despite updating his address in the system and talking to the school multiple times, he rarely gets any info directly from the school....so, he's backed out of any involvement.
As of last year, both SSs received special ed services for "unspecified health" disabilities. Because they are just passive observers, the school assigned them to classes automatically. One SS was in all self-contained special education classes with a teacher he does not like. I'm assuming this is based on his test scores and the fact that he has to pass some course assessments this year in order to be on track to graduate. Today, I looked at their schedules and this SS is no longer in any special education classes. I don't think his school provides inclusion services (i.e. I don't think the special ed teachers work with the general ed teachers), so I'm not sure how he's going to fare, being in mostly special ed last year and no special ed this year...should be interesting. He goes to a small school, so I'm sure they will "pass" him in order to get him to graduation. He failed a class freshman year and said he had to go to a couple of sessions over one of the school break in order to switch his grade to a pass to get the credit. My assumption is that he saw his schedule at orientation, complained to BM and she called the guidance counselor demanding he be switched. Both SSs have switched at least one teacher every year I've known them. Last year, one switched classes every time he had a grade below a C....so I think he switched 3 times. I've asked him a few times about switching classes and he will say the teacher was "mean" or for one "the teacher was too hard...everyone thought so...".
And both SSs have told us they are "definitely" going to college.
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This stuff is infuriating,
This stuff is infuriating, isn't it? We had the opposite problem with ET and YSK. She forced them into advanced classes and the early college program just like OSS. OSS thrived in it. YSK...not so much. Now we get to deal with a teenager who hates half their school classes partly because they've always been forced into learning in a way that they hated.
Best thing you can do is let your DH handle it and keep telling him what you will and won't tolerate out of the SSs when they are adults. My DH is getting nervous because he is seeing where ET's poor parenting is resulting in poor outcomes (in different ways) for the kids. I've been preaching the bad for a few years now. Not a whole lot I or he can do about some of it now.
I basically look periodically
I basically look periodically to make sure they're passing classes...because our legal obligations to BM end once they graduate, so I have a vested interest in them passing.
One owes fees dating back to middle school...they seem reasonable enough that he should be able to pay them and graduate, but really, why hasn't BM noticed? They always start the year off with an F in each class, because they never return the syllabus with a parent signature (DH is an EOWE dad, so he could sign them, but they'd have to bring them to our house).
DH does get the general school emails and today there was one from the English teacher that both Skids have saying that they will be required to independently read 80 pages each week and that reading will count for 30% of their grade. Good luck! I used to try to make SSs read, even had books at the appropriate-level (they are both maybe at the high elementary school / early middle school reading level even though they are juniors). I'm sure they'll just fudge the numbers, but really, where are they even going to get books? They both currently have fines for missing library books.