And SD7 has told us when we are ALLOWED to decorate the nursery!? lol
:jawdrop:
Now, I totally understand that SD7 is losing her room at my home, and I get that it could be quite upsetting for her too...so I have encouraged and the change all fun and something to look forward too....said how things will look, where things will go etc....I also bought the underbed storage boxes on Friday gone and explained to SD7 what they were for and why.....she was soooo excited! lol...she happliy packed her toys away and helped to sort out what toys she wanted rid of, what she wanted to take home and what she wanted left.......
OH was chuffed with SD7s enthusiasm, and said that he "ok with the swap" as he was a bit worried about it "but now she has her own room at her moms and lives back there now, she has her own space she doesnt really need the room here now"...I was shocked, but glad.....
So anyway, SD7 asked what colour the room was going to be for her brother.........now I must stress that after previous advise from you guys, I KEPT SHTUM!.....OH answered her, and stated the choice OH and me had.....SD7 then said "well its not being done yet....I dont want it too, so it can wait until a long time cos I want the room to stay pink all the time!"...OH told her that that wasnt possible, and that we had to get babies things ready too, as well as BD7s room for them both.....SD7 was still on it though...even when she has been moved to BD7s room, she has stated that we "are not allowed to decorate the room".....OH left it at "well, its not your choice when daddy and stressedstep decorate princess, and we have to decorate babies room before he is born so his things are ready for him for when he comes home"....
Typical 7 year old behaviour maybe...I know my 7 year wouldnt say that......typical SD7 behaviour, probably yes.....I think its the expectant side that comes out in her.....one minute she is OK then the next its "not allowed to change"...otherwise, she seems to have been OK with things....just OH to sort out now...
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Agreed. It is totally normal.
Agreed. It is totally normal. & yes, your DD7 would probably act out similarly. I know you don't believe it, but it's true. She's 7. She's immature. Most 7 year olds are. It's just what it is.
She is stalling 'her world'
She is stalling 'her world' for as long as she can make it stall so the status quo doesn't change.
Normal behaviour. And as tommar said, tell your daughter she is having her room taken away and will be sharing with her s/sister abd has no say in the matter. I doubt she will be a happy little daisy you think she will be.
I was going to make a big ol
I was going to make a big ol post but tommar basically said exactly what I would have written.
I don't think anyone was
I don't think anyone was being horrible. I am pregnant too. I have a SD7 too. She says things that rub me the wrong way sometimes. I chuck it up to her being 7 & move on, let DH handle it & ignore it.
My pregnancy is a happy thing. SD is still entitled to her own feelings just like I am entitled to mine. & to infer that she is being rude & not acting like a normal 7 year old just because she isn't thrilled about giving up her room, & the constant comparisons OP makes to her DD7 who would 'never do that' (she doesn't know, because her dd7 hasn't been put in that position) is what rubs me the wrong way about this.
We can agree to disagree. It
We can agree to disagree. It rubbed me the wrong way. The constant comparing of kids, saying how great her bio is handing the situation, etc. She has done nothing wrong in this post, but I'm sure her SD still remembers the words of the last post - about how SD has no room anymore & the room is DD's etc. You can't say stuff like that & expect SD to behave perfectly. & even despite that, SD is behaving like a normal 7 year old. I think expectations need to be adjusted so OP can enjoy her pregnancy. & I do thing the disengaging is a good step because just like with a nuclear family, with a stepfamily comparing stepsiblings is no good.
Thanks guys, but I wasnt
Thanks guys, but I wasnt actually being horrible about it...I thought it was quite funny really! I was just repeating what she had said as I know some of you have followed this room saga!
BD7 was actually really, really good about the prospect of sharing...if anything she has been excited about it from the start....its only when SD7 starts stating what will be happening in "her new room" that I have noticed her get upset...which I totally understand.....so I had slowed SD7 and made it clear that she doesnt make those decisions in BD7s room....and posted it on here, and so after the advise previously from you guys, which I have listened to....when SD7 said about the decorating of the nursery...I didnt say anything!! I stayed silent, rather than causing any upset....
I left it as it was...OH was the one that told her...I have tried to see things from her point of view, and by no means was I "bitching", I was just saying what she had said.
HOWEVER....I do have to point that SD7 IS an expectant child, and that she does feel that "her world" is more important than anyone or anything else outside of BM...so whilst I get that its a big thing losing the room you sleep once a week, there is an element of the expectant coming through, which is what I meant....again, this is down to her immaturity and age....and the fact that she has to adapt to not being the center of attention anymore...this is also due to MIL and OH not explaining things as they should so SD7 understands things.....
Re my BD7, I actually KNOW how she would react if she was told by her dad she had to give up her room for a child that lived with her dad....and I can guarantee her reaction was not as you suspect....she actually did understand the reasons why.....the reason she understood was because she has shared her room before with SD7, when OH first moved in. BD7 was only 3 coming 4 years old and had to give up her newly decorated bedroom, a room she chose and helped design herself, and move to a different room JUST to accommodate SS's and SD7.....she was only in her new room 4 months.....she had to move to her old room that hadn't been decorated and was actually a mess! When the SS's stopped sleeping over (which took about 3 months ish I think) SD7 had BD7s newly decorated room, whilst my BD7 had the messy room....I eventually found the time to decorate said room about 10 months AFTER SD7 moved into the room done for BD7......and my BD7 went along with it....she wasnt happy, but then she has had to constantly give up for SD7s sake over the last 4 years......
They have chosen their own
They have chosen their own bedding and SD7 has decided what wall trinkets she wants kept at mine and what she wants to take home....I have kinda left it to SD7, but also said that certain bulky things have to go home with due to space....shes been OK with it though! But she can have her moments! lol
Re the furniture colour, im a stickler for matching! lol. I cant help it...Im the same throughout my entire home! lol Its mad I know...
It's a pink room. SD loves
It's a pink room. SD loves the color and she helped decorate her old bedroom. Now she's giving it up for baby brother....but she isn't getting why baby brother can't love the pink same as she did.
Of course you don't want baby surrounded by pink and want the fun and excitement of redoing the room in the way you envision for your first baby boy. Just do the room. Well DD is off at school and SD at BM's, just do our thing and enjoy doing it. Frankly neither of the little girls need any say in what's going on in the new nursery. Stop asking their opinions or announcing to them what's going on in the room.
You're reading too much into a simple young female child's girlish statement 'the room will stay pink forever'. IMO you're big on pre-planning and organizing and sharing every ounce of the program with both girls that perhaps just keeping a bit of it to yourself and DH and assuming the girls will just naturally go with the flow of what's happening around them might settle some of this down a bit. If you want the girls to feel helpful and a part of planning the arrival of baby brother, do something like take them to the baby shop and let them each pick out a couple things apiece such as baby sleepers, hooded bath baby bath towels and bibs. I guarantee you, neither girl will pick out pink and it will give you and both girls a chance to feel like you all are planning for baby together while the big stuff going on about rooms and room colors will be forgotten and left up to you and Dad to worry about.
If you stop giving either girl the sense they have room for opinions in what they actually do not (what's happening in the nursery or what color you are painting furniture) they'll stop having the thought that they can have expectations and a vote in it.
Hey There, this seems to have
Hey There, this seems to have gone a bit nuts, but, I wasnt inferring SD7 was being rude.....if anything I found her comments funny...I posted here as there have been a lot of people who have helped support and advise me through the bedroom saga that I was really dreading and I thought this was a funny little thing!
My BD7 has been through giving up her room in her own home, when OH moved in, she did it for SSs 4 months AFTER me and BD7 had had it decorated, she was only 3.....BD7 gave up her room, and moved to a room that had not been done.....then within about 3-4 months SD7 took over the newly decorated room, whilst my BD7 stayed in the room she had to move too and which wasnt done (and it was in dire need!) for another 10-12 months...so yes...I CAN say how my daughter will react BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN THERE AT A MUCH YOUNGER AGE!!! The point I was making was that because she had been there and done it, I know how she understands things, mainly because I HAVE PARENTED HER, AND YES, SHE IS VERY MATURE FOR HER AGE...THANKS TO A VERY ATTENTIVE MOTHER! So, to be fair, "normal" 7 year old behaviour doesnt always come to me to understand, because my BD7 does react differently in some aspects...thats why I post here, for advise.
I apologise if its "rubbed" anyone up the wrong way, but hopefully having full facts will allow you to lay of BD7 who is parented and concentrate back to the subject I post on, which are SKids which are NOT parented, taught to lie, steal, manipulate and expect EVERYTHING to revolve around them...and that includes SD7 who is a VERY accomplished liar unfortunately. My BD7 has, and to my guilt, given up more than she should, because I as her parent actually DID for a time make my BD7 give up to accommodate SD7....but that was until I got to know SD7 better....
I was IN NO WAY being horrid to my SD7, I have been in her life a very long time, and I parent her as best as I can without becoming the main...that is her dads job....and she does get away with things with OH that he doesnt let my BD7 get away with, so OH encourages the behaviour.....the decorating wasnt discussed at that point with the girls....SD7 asked off the cuff.....they have both been involved in little choices like picking clothes, socks, teddies etc etc, and they have both really enjoyed that....BD7 happily talks and stokes my bump, SD7 is uncomfortable with it, so I encourage her (cos its hard, its personal and intimate in a sense so it comes naturally to my BD7, but Im not SD7s mom, so she is bound to feel a bit awkward!) and she has gotten better, so I am trying to keep things level. But my original post was a funny....not a nasty thing.....it was OH that told her in the end....not me...