SHE DID WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SD6 was here yesterday.As usual she all over her dad. We called a few of her Kinder classmates to come over for a playdate.She was very excited. The 2 girls came and we noticed that SD was very bossy with them. Telling them what to do and ordering them around to cater to herself. Her dad told her at least 4 times to stop being bossy with her friends. He also told her friends to not let his daughter bully them. A bit later I walked past SD's room and she and friends were under her blanket. I heard her telling her friends to take their pants off. The friends were then saying ohhhh thats gross! I stood in the doorway and called SD's name. She popped up from covers with her pants off. I asked what was going on. The two friends were fully dressed. SD immedately snapped "Nothing". So I asked the girls, They both said SD was trying to put a play shot (from a doctor kit) inside her girly spot. And that she wanted to do it to the girls too. I was devastated. I told her Father and he looked like he was gona pass out. We called her into the living room and told her how wrong that is. We let her play a little more with her friends while we decided what to do. She became very emotional. Soon she was throwing a tantrum and the girls went home. We tryed to speek to her but she continued to lie and say that it was the friends fault. We spoke to her about if she knew the difference of if anyone should touched her inapropriately. We were both confident that no one ever has. Her dad and I finally got on the same page with disaplining SD because she is so attention starved and needy and does these insaine things that are wrong. She has never been disaplined in her life so when you do its devestating to her and acts like a simple time out is cruel torture. Today I told her mother what she did last night. The mother pretty much shrugged it off...like ok thanks for calling. I tryed to explain to my boyfriend that saying No to your child is loving them. And disaplining them in a healthy way is also loving them. This is how we teach them right from wrong. For the past 5 years the BM has manipulated him into thinking that giving into the daughters every want is being a good parent. I think after last night he feels differently now. THere is difinately gona be some changes around her. Please tell me what all of you think. Am I being to judgmental with this child? Am I too hard? I never had problems like this with my boy who is now 11. I guess I should be greatful that he has always been such an easy child. Compared to SD he is a breath of fresh air. I just wish I could figure out what goes through her little mind to make her act so horrible.
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Comments
Did dad talk to the other
Did dad talk to the other parents about what happened?
Don't be surprised if one or all of them calls children services.
Did you talk to the other
Did you talk to the other parents? Your first mistake was letting them continue to play. If my daughter was one of the playmates I would have lost it on you for allowing them to continue to play, not calling me immediately and if you didn't tell me and I found out from my kid, I would've really lost it. Why didn't you spank her? You not only showed your SD that what she did isnt that bad bc u didn't even disapline her but bc u didn't disapline her, u showed the other girls that it wasn't that bad either.
I completely agree with you.
I completely agree with you. I wanted to do somthing right there and then. But keep in mind that if I so much as lay a hand on this child she will run to the mother.I was VERY PISSED that the Dad did not do somthing immediately.As for the childrens parents. Its all I can think about. Because I think of my son and how over protective I am of him.I would want to know. I left it in the parents hands. So far neither of them have even spoken about it. You have no idea how ill I am over this.
Kids are usually curious at
Kids are usually curious at that age. I would be careful how you and her dad handle this. you could potentially scar her sexually for life. Spanking is certainly not the answer.
You guys really should have ended the play date at that very moment and let the parents know what happened and sent all of those kids home. The other poster is correct. If I heard something like that from my daughter, you can bet I'd be pretty pissed. Then you guys should have sat her down and let her know that while its Ok for her to explore her own self, it is not Ok to explore others. She's six. Tell her that only married people can do that. Also let her know that if she doesn't feel comfortable talking about these things to her mom or dad, that you are certainly there for her to listen and to give guidance. Just keep dad in the loop and be a sort of liason for him.
This is NOT normal behavior
This is NOT normal behavior from a 6 year old, get her into counseling, something is wrong with this child. Stop having other kids over until she can behave appropriately or you can supervise 100% of the time, If I had this happen to one of my girls when they were younger I'd have become the parents worst nightmare, Just because your SD is scarred for life doesn't mean you can screw up other peoples kids, You should have stopped the play immediately by not stopping it you basically sent the message it was ok, I hope the other kids don't run home and tell. You could end up with social services on your porch and lose the ability to have your SD visit, This is disturbing you'd even have to ask if this is normal and you let the kids play while you talked. I think some common sense parenting classes should be ordered for you and your DH
That's a little harsh. This
That's a little harsh. This is an EXTREMELY unique situation, and while we can all say that we'd know what to do, none of us knows how accurate that would be if we were freaked out and without any example in our upbringing or child rearing lives.
Yes it may be harsh, this
Yes it may be harsh, this isn't something to be taken lightly, I agree the kid has probably been molested or watched something inappropriate and needs counseling but the parents or any adult should have bells going off that this is not normal 6 year old behavior and yes I think they can also benefit from a parenting class to learn what is and isn't normal at that age and that isn't said to be mean, Kids don't come with manuals and this strange behavior isn't normal either
Honestly, if you read my
Honestly, if you read my comment below, you would agree with me that I'm not someone who needs to be told that this is something to be taken lightly or gravely. Saying things such as "it's disturbing that you would question if this is normal" is negative and discouraging. OP most likely knew that this was not normal and was seeking validation, but used non confrontational verbiage ("Is this normal, or am I right to be worried?"). Let's try not to be more negative about an already pretty horrible situation.
Dude... okay. After reading
Dude... okay. After reading your blog, I'm pretty sure that your SD is the victim of sexual abuse. As a survivor of childhood molestation, I can tell you that the things that she does - kissing her dad and sitting in his lap, all of the weird things that she does to show him affection, and now this - point VERY PLAINLY to trauma. Please get her into some sort of counseling.
Thank you to those who tryed
Thank you to those who tryed not to be too judgmental here. This is a very touchy subject. And I cant even tell you how in schock we were "in the moment" It was completely hard to process. More so for me because Ive been saying for near 6 months that I feel that the child has been molested or fondled by the Mothers boyfriend or the grandpa.Also they did not continue to play for hours. Within 15 min. One child went home. 5 min later my boyfriend took the other child home. No we did not sit there and let them play for hours. It was more like we sat in the living room and tryed to take in a bad situation. And talked about getting the girls home. Im not a complete idiot. I did tell the parents they need to tell the little girls parents. That has to be very shameful for them. I would not be looking forward to that. I know how I would taken care of it. I have a son whom Im a very proud Mother of. I know what is the appropiate thing to do. Ive been told by the mom to stay out of their buss. I told BF that if they dont do somthing about it then I'll be forced to. I feel that was the best thing for me to do. If no one agrees, Im sorry. Either way I will be the bad guy here cause I know they wont call. And when I do it may be the end of my relationship with my BF.