On the subject of child support
Can anyone tell me what the rule in New York is? I read some of your stories and I just cannot believe what I am seeing! We have SD living with us, but are going to ask BM for child support since she doesn't pay anything right now at all. SD has been living with us for a year. How does it work? IF BF makes more than BM, is her amount decreased? Or is it decreased because of my income? And what does it cover? I was reading the blog about the braces and I thought CS was just for food, clothing, shelter, but other additionals - like health insurance, uncovered medical expenses, high school yearbooks, rings, gowns, etc etc were all split?? Or is it a case by case basis depending on what you can get parents to agree to??
- Stick's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
There are three primary CS calculation Models.
The INCOME SHARES MODEL:
The PERCENTAGE OF INCOME MODEL:
The MELSON FORMULA MODEL:
Only he MELSON formula directly considers a StepParents income or the income of a resident Significant Other in the calculation of CS and only then to lower the self support reserve for the Obligor (the person who pays CS).
"Melson Formula model, a primary support allowance is established through the primary support level for the obligor, which is decreased if the obligor is living with another working adult."
With the Melson Formula model your income would reduce the amount of DH's own income reserved for his own support. I do not know which model NY uses but here is a link to a good reference for understanding the most common models used by different states for addressing CS.
http://www.supportguidelines.com/book/chap1b.html#1.03
You should also be able to Google NY support calculator and find a free CS calculator for NY. These calculators provide a fairly accurate tool for calculating CS and for determining the impact of different scenarios on CS.
Good luck.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
food, WE PAY FOR FOOD
food, WE PAY FOR FOOD OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.. clothing,WE PAY HALF OF ALL CLOTHES& SHOES shelter,SHE PAYS WITH CHILD SUPPORT. WHICH WE PAY OVER $500 A MONTH ..PLUS WE PAY ALL HALF OF ACTIVES ..
DO YOU THINK THATS FAIR?
Thanks Holly, MinneMom, Rags
I appreciate the input and I'll check out those links!
If BioDad stepped up and paid his own CS much less the xtras
I would know I was in the Twilight Zone. (No not the Teen Vampire love story for you youngsters. The Twilight Zone was a classic black&white SciFi TV show before even my time).
Though the CO clearly states that he is liable for half of all Med related expenses not covered by insurance he has never paid a dime on the more than $4000.00 he owes us over the past 15+ years. He owes us on half of the birthing costs for my SS, half of the front teeth replacement when SS bit the curb while learning to ride his bike while his permanent front teeth were coming in, he owes us for ER visits for a broken arm, he even owes us for an ER visit that occurred while my SS was on visitation with him. He was stupid enough to sign my name as the responsible party for the ER visit.
What he does not realize is that when he first refused receipt of the bills, penalties and interest started and the $4000.00 he would have owed will be ~$10,000.00 when I sue him on on my SS's 18th B-Day. Not only am I going to sue him for what he owes under the CO, I am going to sue him for every dime I have spent on raising his son. The Judge will probably not allow that part of the suit but I will do it just to make his loser ass hole pull a vacuum on the court room seat for a few hours as he looks at the suite for $250,000.00.
Crue,
Ideally you are right. CS should be for the daily, usual and customary costs of raising a kid. Uncovered Med expenses, vacations, class rings, year books, band instruments, prom dresses, etc..... would not be usual and customary and both BioContributors would split those costs in addition to CS.
However, as much difficulty as many NCPs have with CS and as much difficulty many CPs have in actually receiving it, equitable participation in paying for the extras would truly be an episode of Twilight Zone in many blended family situations.
Fortunately a strong majority of NCPs gladly pay CS, participate in their kid's lives and step up willingly and often proactively on the extras.
So ends this episode of ........ The Twilight Zone.
doo, Doo^, doo(v), doo(v). or however the Twilight Zone theme went.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
Oh, CS gets paid. Just not by BioDad. His Mommy pays it for
him. Before income withholding started she would actually write and mail the check to CSI. The last time we filed for modification 6years ago the Judge implemented direct payroll withholding so Mommy just gives him the money directly. On top of having his youngest three live with her, letting HIM live rent free in a rental property that Mommy and Daddy own, giving him their hand-me-down cars, etc......
CS is paid, HE does not pay it though.
Grrrrrrr! :O
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
I hope your efforts are fruitful in getting this resolved.
CS is hared enough to deal with without the international elements you deal with.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
Isnt this BF issue?
I have lots of experience in dealing with CS both as a SM & BM. My suggestion is to leave the CS issue up to BF. He just contacts his local county CS division about it. I strongly suggest letting him deal with it. As a SM I have learned it is best to mind my own business instead of getting all wrapped up & around CS issue.
CS QUESTION for those paying / receiving CS
Sorry for the long rant, but I feel a little background is in order here to give the full story. Yes, CS is a BF issue, but since we are married and the income (or lack thereof) affects MY household and MY life, then I feel I have a right to be involved. Why I'm asking is because both my husband and I travel for a living for our careers. We never asked for CS because there were months when BF and I would both be traveling for work. It was never 6 months at a time or even 6 months through the year. It was more like 4-4 & 1/2 months (straight) out of the past 12 that we both happened to be gone. Because of the absences we didn't ask BM for ANY child support, nor contribution to health insurance. However, SD's counselor has advised us that we can no longer travel at the same time, severely limiting both of our career options as we have to try to tag team our travel! So BM doesn't pay child support, doesn't contribute to health insurance, as well as a few other things. Two years ago, when this all began, as soon as we both took the first business trip together she asked for CS for the few months we were gone. Of course, she never offered to pay 1/2 of the health insurance that was due - even though at the time it was over $300 for SD per month, or split any of our other expenses when we had SD full time!! DH said no, because we didn't ask her to reimburse us for the other 8 months or for any health insurance. And even after that, while SD was with BioMom he did still send $$ just to help out. Now we have SD all the time and my ability to work has been infringed upon (Dh currently has a great job, but LOTS of travel, so I'm home!) We feel it is fair to ask BM to contribute. DH is being VERY fair, asking for less than what she would owe if we went to court. He's also giving her the option to not pay us until SD graduates so she can get her own affairs in order. At that point if she has to refinance her house (that she got in the divorce), or take out of her 401k or whatever she has to do, she can do so. We feel like we are being VERY VERY fair and supportive to her, and YET she is the victim in all of this and is saying we are asking too much. If we went to court and they ruled in our favor, it could be devastating to her and we don't want that. If she had to pay us every month, she probably couldn't make her bills, which is why we offered her to wait until SD graduates. Her counter-proposal to us was "what if she just buys SD clothes through the year" and that's her child support contribution??!! So, now, unfortunately, DH and I are bummed because we may have to go to the county CS. DH even took BM to their divorce mediator and the mediator told BM - agree to this!! It's fair! And she still is complaining. Sorry for the long vent... but I am a little bummed out about the whole infringement on my career and the fact that this woman is acting like a stupid victim when in fact she has gotten sooo much from DH (including 2 different degrees while they were married!) QUESTION for those out there paying CS - how would you feel if custodial parent offered you the chance to not pay until child graduates if you were struggling now? Would that help you or hurt you? QUESTION for those out there receiving CS - have you ever considered anything like this?
GET A CO ASAP! Even if is only the option you are currently
discussing with BM. No CO no obligation of CS from BM. Get it documented and included in a court order.
IMHO.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
Crayon
That's what I'm worried about. I'm worried that somehow BM will not have to pay, or pay less and then she will be vindicated - "forever the victim" :sick: gag me with a spoon as we used to say!! Wow - I'm dating myself, huh??!!
Gag me with a spoon! Ha! that line cost me a new car once.
Stick,
Yes you date yourself with that one. When I was in HS my parents came to school for a long weekend and we were out and about when my parents pointed at a car that was driving by and asked what I thought of it. "Gag me with a spoon, I think it is ugly". How was I to know that they had a deposit on one at the Dodge dealer. Needless to say, no new car ever showed up from Mom and Dad. But, I did get a classic mid 60's muscle car instead. So, Mom and Dad saved a ton of money and I got a cool car.
So, all in all the consequences of my flare up of teenage induced Cranio-Rectal syndrome was not overly severe.
Though I did learn to temper my opinion a bit ...... at least when discussing cars with Mom and Dad.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
Rags, sorry I'm dense and this is somewhat new
New in the sense that we have never pursued before... I'm guessing CO means Custody Order, correct? The Arbitrator did tell DH and BioMom that anything we do needs to be court documented and we can file it as a Modification so that BioMom cannot skip out on obligations. Funny enough - this Arbitrator told DH and BM to try to agree with what DH was proposing and sign and file themselves so they didn't spend more $$$ on him! Kind of nice to see a guy say - hey, you guys can do this... Oh! And thanks for that link on all the different models of Child Support. It was interesting (albeit difficult - my head was SPINNING!!) reading. It turns out that NY State just does a percentage of NCP's income - The percentage of income model. https://newyorkchildsupport.com/non_custodial_parent_info.html
Nope, you are not dense at all. CO=Court Order
which is interchangeable with Judgement (Court).
Sorry for the TLAs (Two/Three Letter Acronyms). I used to work for a company that actually had a company directory of TLAs. It was ~15pages of acronyms used regularly in work related dialogue at that company.
StepTalk has its own specific vocab full of TLAs.
You will pick it up soon enough.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
No, CS is to cover ALL the
No, CS is to cover ALL the costs of the child, except medical. The problem is that many out there who do not get enough based on what they spend on the child believe that the extras should be paid separately. The fact is that 20% or whatever of income is for ALL costs except medical. Obviously if you get 100USD a month in CS that leaves you with nothing for extras...If you get 500USD a month, that leaves you with plenty for extras. The difference between these two is that technically that child would've had many extras if the NCP had an income to pay 500USD a month and not many extras if the NCP had an income that had to pay 100USD a month...but for some reason, in our society both of these families, especially after divorce, feel that both children deserve the same extras. In addition, when a couple lives together they BOTH determine if there is money for extras or not, and when there is a divorce only the CP believes they have the option of determining what extras the child can do...regardless of whether "as a couple" they could afford it. Mind you, if you are married and 20% of the A parent's income is 100USD and 20% of B parent's income is 500USD, both of these are put together and the entire 600USD is avaiable for both normal and "extras"...but when someone is divorced the person with more money feels the one with less money should still have to pay 1/2 of everything...and the person with less money feels the other should have to pay "all" of extras...