just thinking
This morning as I was walking up the stairs DH asked me to knock NICELY in ss16's door to wake him. I stopped going up and asked DH why he always asks me to knock nicely, ask nicely, be nice, say it nicely, walk by him nicely, please nicely put food on a plate and nicely put it into the fridge, etc, etc. He said he just wants me to do things for ss16 and not be nasty or have an attitude. So does that mean he always has to ask me to be nice? It is actually making me NOT WANT TO BE NICE AT ALL. DH is so worried about how ss16 is treated that sometimes it makes me want to just not save supper, not knock when asked, not say "hi" at all, and just IGNORE the brat. Which I do mostly and that is probably why DH is so sensitive. Ss16 has never wondered if I tolerate him until a little while ago when DH brought it up in front of him, since then I have not seen ss16 for suppers at all, if he comes downstairs he passes through just to grab something to eat and dissappear again. I know maybe that is a good thing so I don't have to have him around but sheesh, has all my "being nice" shown just tolerance? I treat ss16 way nicer then my own bio kids. I don't know there are times when I wonder if DH is just too sensitive about ss16 and how it seems to be all blowing up in his face. I might try not being nice and see if that makes our household less tense. I hate the tenseness that enters the room like a fog around ss16. I hate how he jumps up from the couch when I walk in and he's been talking to dh and leaves the room. I don't know, it's all so weird and awkward and strange.
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PS, this has all been sorta
PS, this has all been sorta recently since I caught the texts to and from the ex gf on DH's phone. It's like ss16 and dh are wanting to be extra cautious around me or something. UHG. I hate it.
"Tell him nicely to go f__
"Tell him nicely to go f__ himself"
I would not so nicely tell him to go "nicely" eff himself.
or the next time he says "will you nicely do something" just reply ever so sweet and nicely "no thank you." And then go on your way.
I'd be offended too -- asking
I'd be offended too -- asking you to do something "nicely" implies that normally you don't do things "nicely"
I agree with the other posters... tell him FU with a sing-song voice and a smile on your face, then ask, "Was that nice enough, with the smile and all?"
and then I'd be passive aggressive enough to start asking DH and SS to "nicely" do things.
I so completely LOVED ALL of
I so completely LOVED ALL of your responses.
Cheri when you said dh did damage with this whole texting gf in secret and making son co-conspirator really hits home. That woman has been nothing but black rot in our relationship - all under the guise of ss16 needing a mommy dearest. She has left a dark untrusting spot in my heart. I really think both dh and ss know this and are now tip toeing around me to keep me happy. The revelation of this Cheri is amazing for me b/c I totally see this. I also found a text on DH's phone to ss after our big run in last month about them texting this gf, and it said to ss that they'd better go into "super secret stealth mode" with communicating with this gf. Of course now I am on high alert. Is this any way to have a marriage? I have yet to find any texts to and from her on ss's phone. I have checked the bill and didn't blocked her from ss's phone so if he was in fact texting her, which he wasn't, you'd think there'd be a text or two right?
B22S22 I like the passive aggressive approach and asking them to nicely do things. Remember how I said that my bs's don't get treated as nicely as ss, well it's harder to get nicer then nice to ss but I will try to. bs is going to wonder what the hell his mom is doing. Actually bs17 once said that ss16 has a golden spoon in his mouth. In other words he gets treated like the king here and everyone sidesteps around him.
Ok I have lots of food for thought. I didn't expect such a response so thanks everyone. You all sure must wonder what sort of household I live in. lol
Sterling - I have to be
Sterling - I have to be honest with you.
It sounds to me like your DH uses his illness as a means to excuse/justify and hold you to ransom while he continues to act like a disrespectful douche towards you. Being sick should make you MORE grateful towards the people who are *there* for you. Mine DH hasn't been well (nothing life threatening) however he has become sweeter towards me because he appreciates my support and love.
The fact your DH has colluded with his son is disgusting and then he expects you to be all Mary Poppins sweet with them both. That poor child, what a frigging example his dad is setting for him! Not fair and am its plausible that he is controlling SS16 with guilt over his condition also!
Haha tonight I told DH that
Haha tonight I told DH that supper is ready and to please let bs know nicely to come and eat. }:) When I was asking him he'd already turned his head to yell up the stairs, when he heard the word "nicely" at the end of my request he whipped his head back and just looked at me. I smiled and walked back into the kitchen, Dh actually went upstairs to tell bs supper was ready.