Yes, BM, your child's feet actually GROW season to season!
BM threw a fit about three weeks ago (when it was 55 degrees out and sunny) that we had SS3's winter boots. She was very concerned about them for some reason -- and both DF and even BM's own mother told her to calm down that the weather was supposed to be nice. Not to mention we see SS 2-4 times a week...and live within 1 mile from BM's apartment...so it's not like the boots are out of reach.
After that happened, I told DF that SS's boots probably don't even fit him now. I checked the size, and they are size 9 and he now wears an 1l (and could probably wear a 12 in boots). Why would BM expect his boots from last winter to fit him anyway?
So we got an onslaught of snow this weekend (not our weekend with SS3). Not a word from BM about the boots. We mentioned it but figured she must have come to her senses and realized that SS doesn't fit the boots we have anyway, and that she must have bought him new ones. DF decided not to even call to ask BM about it because she would probably just be snotty and say, "Well of COURSE I bought him boots..blah blah blah get off my effing back...blah blah blah you're always harrassing me". So we decided she'd call us if she needed boots, in which case we'd tell her that they don't fit anyway.
This morning BM calls DF and basically tells him what a crappy dad he is that he couldn't bring SS's boots for him to wear this weekend even though we knew it was snowing and he'd "probably" need them.
DF politely tells her that we would expect that she would COMMUNICATE with us if she needed something, and that the boots will not fit him anyway. BM threw a fit again that we never told her they don't fit him. The kid has grown out of FOUR pairs of shoes during this summer...she's got absolutely NO common sense! Derrrrrrrrrrrrr....
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Wow, I had this issue when I
Wow, I had this issue when I was first divorced where I couldn't get anything back from BD when I would send clothes. His new GF had 3 kids and nobody would send my BD8 clothes back at the time. I was single so I just asked for him to keep some clothes there-I sent some to add to his collection and I would keep clothes at my place. I couldn't afford to buy new clothes all the time. It seemed to work for us. That BM that you are dealing with has not gotten over something and really needs some valium!! lol. Talk about over-reacting. Grab a chill pill she needs!! Isnt it ridiculous that grown adults can regress back to children so easily. That would be why he isnt married to her. He should be thankful. Sounds like you guys did the right thing. lol.
Yeah I don't know why she's
Yeah I don't know why she's suddenly being a freak about his boots. I love too that her daughter (SS5) shows up with new clothes and new shoes on a weekly basis but it just KILLS BM to buy anything that her son actually NEEDS.
Exactly!! Oh, and the boots
Exactly!! Oh, and the boots were ones that WE had bought for SS last winter because BM kept sending him to our house without any, and then we'd need some and we wouldn't be able to get ahold of her. So we bought the boots for him to keep at our house and use at day care.
So her reasoning for being a freak about this doesn't even make sense due to the fact that she didn't buy them!
I agree both households should have enough things to keep the kids dressed/cared for reasonably and not depend on the other for things to be bought.
That is what we did, we had
That is what we did, we had to choose our battles.
Once we took SD on a vacation for a week when she was 9, and BM sent a bunch of her old clothes with SD. We are talking shorts 5 sizes too big, etc.
She did it on purpose, and yes, we had to go to a WalMart and buy SD a whole new set of clothes to last a week, with money we had not budgeted for. I had to just let it go, but I just could NOT believe a mom would do that to her kid.
We just started keepings things at our house that we bought, less stressful that way.
I think it is ridiculous to
I think it is ridiculous to have two sets of snow boots & jackets & snow pants at both houses. My step sons are 10 & 13 & have a complete wardrobe at our house which I have paid for & those clothes go back & forth between the houses. However winter gear comes over with them. Last weekend we had a ton of snow & I just called up BM & asked if we could run by & get it ( we live 5 minutes apart) She actually offered to drop it off. SS 13 can actually wear my boots if needed & I told BM that I had a nice pair of men's ski pants that don't fit me that he can have that should fit next year,
Sometimes it just pays to act reasonable, because after all it is about making the kids feel loved & well taken care of at both homes. My situation is not perfect but because I have always been a good stepmom to the kids BM is pretty reasonable about things like this.
What else would a kid get for
What else would a kid get for presents if we weren't buying clothes? We have always had full sets of summer and winter clothes (minus winter boots) for the big kids.
In fact, now that we aren't getting SD12 for overnights, we sent most of her clothes back to her BM's house so she can wear her clothes before she outgrows them all.
We're actually doing the same
We're actually doing the same with SD5's clothes. She's not really DF's kid and she used to come to our house alot more, but now she's only at our house one or 2 times a week and never for the weekend. So I'm sending a big bag of SD's clothes back to BM's house with her this week!