You are here

List: If it were a perfect world...

SteppingUp's picture

Let's pretend that the perfect stepparenting situation is attainable. What things would be happening? Here's what I've come up with so far - add your thoughts!

1. Your significant other is appreciative of all the little things you do that you don't *have* to do.

2. You and your significant other agree on (most) parenting strategies.

3. Your significant other and his or her ex split amicably and there are no (or very few) hard feelings.

4. There is no personal ill intents between the stepparent and the ex, regardless of the past.

5. Parents encourage their child(ren) to spend time with the other parent.

6. All parties trust in the safety of their children while at the other household.

7. Your significant other trusts you as a parent and allows you to be a partner in sharing parenting responsibilities.

8. Money is not an issue and both parents support the children equally and with no problems, and without help from the step parents.

9. Neither party parents out of guilt.

Comments

imagr8tma's picture

SK or BK would not be put in the middle of grown up issues......

SK or BK would be able to love and enjoy both families without being made to feel bad or uncomfortable about it...

Step-parents and Bio-parents would get along for the children's sake and take each other into consideration when making some decisions..........

All kids involved would know they are loved and wanted in both bio and step household.........

No one would have to be "punished" for not getting their way or actions would not negatively affect families cause the individual is not getting their way.....

Lies would not be told to children and alienation would not be a factor.........

Getting along peacefully would be a priority instead of a ploy only if someone is "getting their way".

Adult temper tantrums would cease..... False allegations would cease...... Being hateful and jealous would cease as well......

startingover2010's picture

in a perfect stepworld, this is how my life SHOULD have been like:

1. BM was a half-way decent person, who took exsd 50/50. there would be no need for CS on either end because BOTH bios would provide their half.

2. if exsd was a decent person, a normal child who loved life and was silly and well-behaved and respectful.

3. if my ex was an involved father and partner, who knew how to differentiate (sp) the relationships between me and him and he and exsd.

4. if no one on my ex's side made me feel like i had to 'fix' sd, thus making my life be consumed with figuring out what her deal was and turning her into a normal kid.

5. just being happy and accepting that i wasnt my ex's first anything, that he had experienced things with bm, but the MY firsts were experienced with him and he was excited for me nonetheless, instead of things being 'no big deal' to him cause he 'went through it already.'

I am confused's picture

sK would appreciate you and understand that you were thrown into a tough situation and show you respect and, if not love, at least some appreciation and affection.

jojo68's picture

JoJo's Perfect World:::
1. BF acknowledges that every once in while my needs should be his priority.
2. Have a SK that appreciates what I do and allows me to come into her heart.
3. Be heard and respected for what I have to say
4. My BF to realize that he needs to quit being a "dad" and start being a parent
5. No jealousy between SD and I
6. SK realizes that she could be so much more
7. For me to stop trying to make everyone happy and start making myself happy for a change
8. BM to step up and start taking an active role in her daughter's life
9. Stop stressing out over things I have no control