This will be the first time since breaking up that the two have EVER sat down and discussed things -- 2.5 years of coparenting after the break-up and never a sit-down. Amazing, huh? DF has tried many times and the meetings always get cancelled or they end up on the phone, which leads to a fight with no resolution of issues.

On the list of things he wants to discuss:
-- BM is getting ALL of his $5,000 tax return. He's going to ask her that she uses some of that money to put the kids in programs (hockey or swimming lessons for SS3, dance or gymnastics for SD5, or anything really -- to give them structure and help them develop). BM promised they were going to be in these programs last fall and hasn't signed them up for anything as yet.
-- Making the new baby (me and DF's, due in 31 days!) a positive experience for the skids. He's going to ask that she be very supportive of their roles as big brother/big sister, especially for SS3 who we're anticipating may regress a bit or have a stressful time adjusting. Also setting up a plan for her to take the skids when we need to go to the hospital, or having her bring the skids to visit the baby in the hospital.
-- Discussion about having better communication between households and more consistent rules/consequences.
-- Discussion about how often the kids actually see her (barely) because she sends them to her mom's every weekend she has them.
-- Discussion about SD5's biodad, his role, what's going on with the whole situation, what's best for SD5 and SS3 at this time.
-- BM's introducing every new boyfriend to the kids right away -- wanting to let her know that he feels she needs to wait longer before introducing them to the kids.
-- Speech/Language issues with SS3 and getting him tested

I only pray that he will do the following:
-- Not let BM beat around the bush about stuff -- this is one of her manipulation tactics so she doesn't have to answer a question directly...she easily leads him off the original topic and he never gets back on and never gets a resolved "answer" about stuff.
-- Come up with solid plans/ideas on things, not just say she's going to do something and then it will never happen.
-- Not forget things on the list!

There's a really big part of me that wants to be included in this meeting...but I know she'll act totally different if I'm around. And I think it's more of my control-freak side coming out that I want to do this, because I want to make sure all the points get brought up and DF doesn't forget things or get the run-around!