Chronicling the "Incidents" with BM
Here's something that happened a few months ago. We have the kids every other weekend. On one of our weekends off, we go out downtown to have a few drinks with friends. While walking down the street, we see BM notice us and dive into a bar to hide. Just so happens, that was where we were going. I stay behind with my friend so I don't get in the middle of this. FH (future husband) goes wild because he's pissed that she's not home with the kids. After all, can't she go out on the weekends she has off? I understood his anger, but I told him that when the kids are with her, and she wants a babysitter, she can do so. Just like if we have something going on that would be our right to do so. I was trying to avoid the issue that her thing "going on" was going to the bar....Anyways, this is the scenario that occured:
FH: Where are the kids?
BM: With my mom for the night.
Guy with BM: But I thought we just saw your mom over at that other bar?
BM is totally embarrassed that her buddy called her out on a blatant lie. FH gets even more mad...
FH (again): Where are the kids?
BM: With family, and that's all you need to know!
A verbal fight ensues, FH ends up leaving to find me and tell me everything. He is so upset we go home and he calls the cops because she won't tell him where the kids are. Some nasty texts get sent back and forth while we wait for the cops. The last text he gets from BM is the completely unattractive and idiotic statement: "LICK ME UNDA"
Cops ended up not doing anything about it, and she finally told FH who the kids were with and he demanded the phone number just for some extra reassurance that she wasn't lying. And she wonders why he doesn't trust her?
- SteppingUp's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I know it sucks to admit it
I know it sucks to admit it but your first instinct was right. DH should never have approached her about where the kids were to begin with. If there's no record of malfeasance (and this means documented court record) on her part then he doesn't have any right to question the judgment that she makes while the children are under her care. Unless there's a stip in their custody agreement that says he gets to sign off on any babysitter she chooses then he doesn't have the right to demand that information as much as ETHICALLY he should be able to ask for it and receive it. This is why the police did nothing. DH shouldn't have let his frustration and anger with BM get the best of him on that one.
Totally agree. Your were
Totally agree. Your were right. It's ok to get a babysitter. DH really did overreact on this one.
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
I don't really get why you
I don't really get why you wouldn't stay home on your weekend with your kids? I mean - unless you have a wedding to go to or something important? You can't just drink every other weekend?
I agree with your sentiment.
I agree with your sentiment. And we don't know the entire custody agreement (is it 50/50, does she have the kids all week plus two weekends per month and DH only has them the two weekends per month) so it's hard to judge.
I agree with the same, but
I agree with the same, but truth be told. DH had really no right to act how he did. She wasn't in the wrong for getting a sitter. And calling the police? That is right out of a crazy BM page...
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
I find it sooooooooooooo
I find it sooooooooooooo hard NOT to judge BM for the same type of actions. I don't understand why she can't WAIT until SS is with us (4 days a week) to do the stupid things she does. Makes no sense to me... BUT, that's her perogative. If she wants to piss away these precious years that SS is young and still loves to curl up in our laps, and twirl my hair in his fingers... that is her problem. Not mine. I will just eat up those moments when he is with me. Nothin I love more than piling on the couch with a kid under each arm and one in my lap
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
We have first right of
We have first right of refusal as well... sadly BM chooses to engage in the inappropriate behavior while SS is in the next room sleeping... :?
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
Hey I know where your
Hey I know where your comming from. Same thing happened to me last time we went out. Went to a club way on the other side of town from where we live. Was shocked to see SD's BM and her live in at the same club. SD's dad started to go bolistic about where was his daughter. I just kept saying she's probably with her grandmother. Apparently he thinks that if she is at her mom's for the weekend that the mom is required to be with her at all times. Not. The only way our situation didn't escalate into fights and police called is that just about the time this all started my husband was getting totally drunk and sick. Then thank goodness the BM slipped out without us seeing her and we were sitting right near the exit. Whew!!! Got thru that one!
I agree with most of you
I agree with most of you that my DH overreacted a bit...but the point was that he asked her "Where are the kids?" and she WOULDN'T TELL HIM! Then she tells him that they are with her mom, which he would have believed, but then the guy she's with says they just saw her mom at another bar! Why lie?
This freaked him out...too many trust issues happening and if she would have just told him the truth to begin with, he still would have been pissed but I would have been able to knock some sense into him. It's the fact that she feels the need to be sneaky and lie about EVERYTHING...
Also - We have the kids
Also - We have the kids exactly 50/50. She can use her time to go whore it up on HER weekend off...why use the weekend she has the kids?
And like someone else said - if you have a wedding or something it is understandable. I have a hard time accepting her just wanting to go out, when she goes out almost every night she doesn't have the kids, even if it's a week night!