BM just has to ruin EVERY conversation.
DF talked to BM and later told me that he was really surprised because they were actually having a very nice and mature talk about SD5's weekend visitation changes and how she's doing in kindergarten, and how SS3 is handling being more on his own now that his older sister is in school. Hooray.....oh, wait.
He then brought up the real reason why he was calling, which was to see if she had plans yet for Thanksgiving weekend. It is her holiday but our weekend. He told her that my family is having a baby shower for me that weekend and that we were hoping to bring the kids a few hours away for the night. She grew immediately bratty. I guess she with an attitude, "Why the hell would SteppingUp be having a baby shower THAT early? She's only like 2 months pregnant!"
As if that's ANY of her business...but DF calmly explained, "No, SteppingUp is currenly 4 1/2 months pregnant and will be almost 7 months pregnant at the time of the baby shower, and her family doesn't want her to be traveling home when she's really late in her pregnancy. Plus it's her only long weekend to spend with her family before the baby comes because she wants to stay with the kids here for Christmas, since we are going to have them for that holiday."
BM started arguing with him that I shouldn't have a baby shower that early. Because she is the all-mighty decision maker? WTF? I don't understand why she has to ruin every conversation, find something to nag or pick on, or else she's just not satisfied???
And once again using her finest manipulation tactic -- the beat around the bush so I don't have to give an answer tactic -- left the conversation with no resolution for our Thanksgiving plans. So DF has to call her AGAIN to get an answer from her. I tell DF over and over again not to let her do that and to just answer his questions, and he always gets sidetracked by her misdirecting the conversation!
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well, if it's her court
well, if it's her court ordered holiday, then her holiday overrules the dad's weekend. legally speaking.
this is just a point of view, you can shoot me later. mom doesn't WANT to say no. she doesn't LIKE to say no. so she uses this tactic. my husband does this too. once i caught on, it only makes me laugh at him now. so she sidetracks.
that is how she said no. go have your baby shower. let it be about you and and your new baby. not mom, not dad, and not dad's other kids.
I would agree with you but
I would agree with you but since their court stipulation began (two Thanksgivings and running) they have let whoever has the kids on the holiday take them on the Weds night through Friday, then the parent with the scheduled weekend gets them Fri-Sun. It's how it has worked for the last two years so DF was just confirming that it would be the same this year. However, I do agree with you that if it's her holiday it's her decision...hence the phone conversation.
SteppingUp - quite frankly if
SteppingUp - quite frankly if you wanted to have a baby shower and your were not even pregnant this is none of BM's business. I posted something yesterday that my DH told me at dinner last night maybe pass this along to your hubby - so next time she wants to ruin a conversation - he can remember this and just state the facts and nothing else - you do not have to explain anything to her just the facts. I know some of this does not apply but when your BM much like my BM uses the beat around the bush start a fight tactic this is what DH thinks now and just gives the facts and states what he wants and what he will do or not do. All she needs to do is say yes they can go or no they can't. It will be sad if she says no but at least you all tried. Also the reason she is ruining every conversation is that I have learned even if the ex-wife wanted the divorce they are never happy that their ex-husbands have moved on and are very happy in their new relationships - to the point of having children and starting new families - these woman don't want them but they don't want anyone else to have them or for them to be happy. I also think sometimes like in the case of our BM she thought the grass was greener on the other side but now is realizing it was just different grass! Congrats on the baby!!
This is from my post:
Tonight DH and I were out to dinner and were talking about Steptalk - he has noticed a difference in me and I told him about this site about a month ago. I asked him why he could stand up to BM now and he could not in the beginning of our relationship. He said that he has learned that whatever BM threatens him with she is going to do what she wants regardless of how he reacts. I said what do you mean - He said "if she wants something and I can't afford or don't want to pay for it and she tells me I can't see my son - I just finally realized that if that is what she is going to do I can't stop her" "I can't force her to do anything and I can't force her to put my son on a plane to visit me" - "I also realize that most times when she threatens that she won't send out my son I know she is lying - she likes the time by herself and the break she gets when he comes to visit"
Yes, I too agree!! It's how
Yes, I too agree!! It's how he is though...he likes to explain things... *sigh* He perpetually tries to get BM to think logically and he thinks by him explaining things it makes it more possible....we're working on it
LMFAO!!! this always
LMFAO!!! this always surprises me. if they weren't thinking logically when we were with them....why would they change AFTER we left them!! your husband is too funny. it's sweet that he has hope...
I agree NO INFO!!! I live by
I agree NO INFO!!! I live by this motto "if the skids can't go then they can;t nothing I can do about" So we go and have fun without them. All dh can do is ask if bm says no she says no it is her holiday not his. If the skids ask why they didn't get to go just tell them "it was your moms time with you" end of it. But no more info to the bm she does NOT need to know what you are doing or where you are going.