The latest poll regarding gifts reminded me of one of the ex's tricks. Back when we were all trying to get along for the kids' sake (we don't fight now, I just act as if she doesn't exist), she would always invite us to the kids b-day parties that she was throwing even though from the first one we told her "NO, you have a party, we'll have a party, that way they'll get two parites." But, no, she had to invite us and our family members so that it looked bad to the kids when we didn't show up or invite her to our parties.

She invited me to mother's day luncheons at her house. NO WAY!! Me alone in her territory. Good greif, how stupid does she think I am.

When my daughter was born (now eight), she would give her candy at every game and give her birthday, Easter and C-mas presents. It was all for appearances as she ONLY gave them to her at an event for the kids where other parents would witness what a wonderful person she was for giving her ex husband's daughter gifts.

We made a really big effort even after all this to offer an "olive branch" to her and really try to get along for the kids' sake. We were super nice, spoke to her at games more friendly, discussed day to day stuff about the kids more regularly, etc. BUT, she still didn't let us know about some events, photos or yearbooks. She always put on appearances, but things that people couldn't see her NOT doing, she never changed.

Because of that, the last time she invited me to her ridiculous mother's day luncheon, I emailed her and flatly told her that if she can't treat my husband with the respect he deserves by making sure that he gets proper information about events, photos, yearbooks and the like that all of her invitations and gifts were empty gestures for the sake of others. In it I also told her that she was lucky to have such a good father who was interested in his kids and that she was lucky that he treated her as well as he did after all that she'd done to him.

That pretty much cleared up that issue and I'm not burdened with having to put up with her phoney balony invites and gifts any longer.

She tried to give a sucker to my daughter about 2 years ago after I decided to be completely done with her and without my prompting my daugther said, "no thanks".

She's not offered since and if she did I think I'd bite her head off.