I've deleted most of my blogs - but the back story is as follows:

Late last summer SS17 started stirring up real trouble around here, ended up in a series of mental facilities, and an attempted suicide (so he says...) he went to a full time Residential Treatment Facility (RTC). He's actually at his 2nd one of those as well. Based on the now infrequent calls to report incidents (used to be almost daily!) he must have finally settled in and is making some progress.

He's been diagnosed with RAD. Also Depression, ODD and possibly FAS, and of course ADHD. (alphabet soup!) At one point in all of the chaos - it was made known to us that he had homicidal thoughts. i.e. A baseball bat to my DH's skull.

SS has NEVER apologized for the shit that he stirred up here. And has pretty much made it clear that he has ZERO need for us anymore (he refuses family therapy sessions). So based on all this, I took his room back. All of his clothing went with him, but all of his crap? donated. His furniture? sold. his broken beyond repair bike? junked. Truly - my home no longer is his home. He is expected to be at the RTC until the day before his 22nd b-day. So why would I need to hold space for him? I re-did the room and moved my daughter out of my basement office, and back into the bedroom. (it was hers before SS moved in, she graciously gave it up)

So today my DH says "SS left me a message, he wants to come out for a weekend to visit his friends."

My response is "SO WHAT?" Does he think he's going to come here and stay in my home? He's threatened our lives, cost us THOUSANDS of dollars, and again - has never apologized and doesn't want anything to do with us. But he's allowed to just come hang out? EFF THAT!

So I told DH that when he calls back, find out what exactly SS is thinking? (I'm hoping he's just calling to get permission, but will stay at the friend's house.)

But if I'm fully honest here - I hope he's not allowed to go visit the friend. Friend and friend's mom wanted to "rescue" SS from us. SS had filled friend's head with stories of us being horrible ogres. Friend's mom wanted to be the foster mom, until she learned the FULL story. Friend lives in our area. I don't even want SS in town! I don't trust him. Period.

crap.