HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO!!!!

I am a bio mom of a little girl who is living with her father and a step mom to a 13 yr old teenage boy. I am married to a man who refused to see the issues and constantly tells me I take everything wrong when it comes to his son. Wow where to start. I love bith kids the same. My step son has no respect for me at all. He talks to me like I am dirt and does not listen to anything I say. I ask him to clean his room and he pops something off to me. I ask him to do his homework and he pops off to me. I try to talk to my husband and he just blows it off and tells me I am takingit wrong and he is just being a thirteen year old boy. Well no I am sorry but he has almost failed the last three years of school, is destructive to everyone elses property, is rude, and has 0% respect for anyone. He has previously hit his grandma and she laughs it off. His mother is Bi polar and has caused so many problems in his life the last few years We now have emergency custody due to her last suicide attempt. There has been another situation where my son has been molested by one of his male freinds. I know Iknow he has had a really rough life. A lot going on and I have tried and tried to be there for him. But he wil not talk to a counsler. An my husband makes constant excuses for his behavior. Ignoring the problems. i ffel like my marriage is in danger because I cant take this child anymore. With in the last 4 months he has pinned our boxer down on the table and stabbed her with a pen in her hind leg and now just 2 weeks ago he put his hands on me. That was the last draw. My husband said he did it oin accident. Well no he didnt and the look in his eyes terrify me. I want him to get the help he needs but his dad refused to do so. He says any mediocation is an excuse to not have to deal with him. I feel it is the only thing that is going to keep him from really hurtnig somone. I am scared to sleep in my own house. What do I do. I have already told my husband if he touched me again I would call the police and press charges since he will not step up and get a handle on things. Am I in the wrong?? What do I do??? I am truely scared I have a future murderer living in my house!!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

Stepmom_NeedHelp's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

OMG. First, your husband

OMG. First, your husband needs a SMACK in the HEAD. Absolutely phone the police. This kid is heading straight for jail if he doesn't smarten up. He STABBED YOUR DOG??? What a little JERK! If I were in your place I'd sit down your husband and TELL him how it's going to be from now on. No more fluffing it off and making excuses. He is creating a monster in this kid and it's just going to get worse. Find a counsellor and threaten divorce if he doesn't get help. You can't be in this situation and maintain your sanity.

I can't believe he STABBED your DOG! He needs a psychiatric evaluation and long-term therapy, and likely medication as well. At the very least, some anger management classes.

Holy crap. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your DH really needs to get his head out of his ass and HELP this kid.

I am so relieved to hear I

I am so relieved to hear I am not crazy for the way I feel. I have threatened divorce and still nothing. If I leave I have nothing and he knows it. I dont know if I can take him to a dr on my own since I am just the step mom. I am tired of being told I am in the wrong for trying to get him under control. I am trying to be very hard on him but it is only because i care.

You won't have nothing.

You won't have nothing. You'll have yourself and your skills and your God-given talents. You can find something to do to support yourself. And you may just have alimony, depending on your situation.

You are never trapped. There is always a way out. Don't ever let your fear of being on your own interfere with your safety and sanity.

If you are truely concerned

If you are truely concerned for your safety, you need to get out. You are responsible for your personal safety, not your husband. And if he won't help you in securing your personal safety (which is the very least that should be going on) then you need to have some deep thinking to do about the kind of person you are married to, and why you are still there.

And I'm not blaming anyone in this situation because who knows what the other side of the story is, what I am telling you is that if you are terrified, and afraid for your life, YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

An even bigger problem than

An even bigger problem than your stepson is your husband. You are not being unreasonable at all. No therapist is going to agree with your husband that this his son's actions are normal, and he may need to hear this from one of them instead of you. Torturing animals is not boys will be boys behavior. Your husband has created quite a little monster and is in denial about how bad its gotten. Your stepson is never going to respect you because clearly his father doesn't feel that's necessary. He's even allowed to hit you.

"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."

Who does respect you in the

Who does respect you in the house? That's crazy to say it was an accident to hit you. All I can do is agree with everyone else in saying that your safety should be your number one priority. I hope you will take someone's advice before its too late.

Here is what i would do if i

Here is what i would do if i were you. My BF and i are not married but have been together for years. We own a home together and i have my Bio daughter who is 6 and his son 5 and daughter 3. His son is showing signs of being anti social. Steals, lies, whines, crys, hits and so on. I have told my BF that he had better work with his BM and getting his son under control becuase if his behavior stays the same i promised him that it would not be long before he would not be welcome in my house. I am trying to raise a decent human and i dont need that around my child. I told him at some point he needed to look at what was best for my child also and having that around is not. I promise though i will stop him from coming over. You have the right to do that also.