Make it clear to her that Mom's run kids to their activities, take them shopping, fix their food...throw anything you do for her in here.

I wish we could say "I'm sorry u felt I was acting like your mom but I think it may have slipped your narrow selfish mind that I am your stepMOM and since you act like a 5yr old someone has to teach your lazy ass how to grow up and be a woman. You should be thankful you have me for a stepmom otherwise who would've taught u to wipe your own ass all of these years? Sincerely- the woman your father chose to be your second mom and until you turn 18 and leave, you need to shut up or stay the h out of my home p.s. thank god I'm not your mom bc if I was I would smack the shit out of you.

No good! I dread the day my ss busts out a 'i don't have to listen to you, you're not my mom'.... I already get 'you're mean' all the time. Sometimes makes me want to show him what mean really is! Stay strong! She'll realize all the hard work you do for her someday.... Hopefully!

If only I knew how hard it was to be stepmom, when I was younger and had to deal with my stepmom. Problem was is that she had separate kids from my dad and hers always came first.. still do. We're all in our 20s and neither of her kids are educated or have ever done anything with their lives. hmmm. lol.

Id do the same as another poster said, remind her that all the fun stuff comes along with caring.. My SDs life would be completely different if I werent in the picture. It might be less rules and doing whatever/whenever.. but Im confident that they wouldnt do the fun stuff that I plan/pay for!

I wouldn't even say anything to her. Even when they are your own kids biologically, when they become teens they say and do such things. It's all part of their teen years.

Technically, she does have a biological mom, so you aren't that, you are your husbands wife, and her stepmom.

No matter what I do, the skids can't get it through their heads that I am not try to be their MOM, they have one. Despite her being a royal pain, she did put in the hours of changing their diapers, taking care of them when ill, etc...I didn't do that. BUT, I won't put up with disrespect either.

Ask her if she thinks her teachers at school are trying to be her MOM when they tell her she needs to do certain things. Just because you are in a position to have to give her guidance, and correction, doesn't mean you are trying to be her mom.

Whatever title you have - and if she can't be respectful to you, then she needs a reality check...but having said that, she is going to act out, just because she is a teen - but there are limits to that even. Don't allow her to step over the line. You will have to pick your battles wisely.

Why go to her FB account anyway, it will just drive you nuts.

My SD14 said that to me once....I said to her....then what am I? She said "My Stepmom". I said your What? She said "Stepmom". I said your step what? She said "step MOM!". I said your STEP WHAT? yelled...it...and she yelled back "MOM!" ....

Then I just looked at her and started laughing. I said that I didn't give birth to you...but I married your dad and became your step mom. When your with dad I am the mom. She just said "I know" and that was that. She has never said it again.

So typically arrogant skid think, that of course everyone is just dying to be 'their mom'??

I actually finally told my SD, look, I really don't care at all because you are so rude, I am just trying to help my husband, so get over yourself!!

She was shocked, but I never have heard that again. Since her mom wants her to hate me, I will give her reason to, so both SD and BM can get what they supposedly 'want'.

They have been trying to get me back to caring about her ever since, but I am done.

I will give her advice when she asks me, and she does, but it is never just telling her what she wants to hear.

I would call her out on it...I will be damned if someone is going to talk about me like that...My SD posted stuff about me early on, she was vague and never called me by name. But, friends knew and family knew...We don't have contact anymore thankfully, but she certainly has told anyone who listens how evil I am. Trust me, it will come back to haunt her some day...Probably when she goes off to college and needs funds and I do everything in my power to ensure she doesn't get a dime...