Help! I have the urge to set BM straight on something!
BM called DH the other day to tell him that SD11 wanted to go on a trip with her friend. While talking to him, she said, "Tell stepmasochist to stay out of business with my family. She got (BM's brother)'s phone number from (BM's brother's ex) to call him and ask why we aren't getting along."
Okay, first of all, that PRESUMPUTIOUS bi0tch!
I was talking to BM's exSIL about a month ago. She said BM was pissed off at her brother. I figured because of this the skids had not had a chance to see their two cousins in a while so I asked exSIL if she thought they could come to SD9's birthday party which was about a week away. She said they were with their dad, but she'd find out. Instead of finding out, she texted me his phone number. I called it once, got no answer, there was no voicemail so I didn't leave one and that was that.
Now, a month later, BM has to run her mouth like I could give two-sh!ts about her and her family.
I have been fighting the urge for two days now to call her up and say this:
DH passed along your message to me yesterday and I just wanted to put your mind at ease. I got (her brother)'s number from (exSIL) to invite their girls to SD9's birthday party. So you can rest assured, your issues with your family are not in the least bit my concern.
What do you think?
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Comments
I wouldn't waste my time with
I wouldn't waste my time with it. Mind over matter you don't mind cuz she don't matter. She sounds like she's just trying to get a confrontation don't give her what she wants.
I wouldn't waste my energy on
I wouldn't waste my energy on her. BM is trying to stir up something, don't give in. Always act with grace and though difficult conduct yourself with my self control than those around you. It will bug her more that you didn't reply to her comment that you replying...cause then she got you at her level. Not worth it.
I agree.
I agree.
Maybe rather than wasting
Maybe rather than wasting your breath trying to explain it to her, next time your DH is on the phone with her you could just tell him, "Hey, tell BM I said hello!". It's the last thing she'll be expecting.
Thanks for the responses. I
Thanks for the responses. I knew just letting it go was probably the best course of "action".
I just needed a little help talking me down.
You guys rock!
I agree that it's not a good
I agree that it's not a good idea to respond, but I understand the desire to shut her up for once. I continually bite my tongue when she says this or that. I was on the phone with her once and she told me that she really wanted DH to play a more active role in the kids life, which is what DH had been trying to do and what BM had been doing her best to prevent, and I lost it...I totally went off on her. And to this day I thank my luck stars that my cell phone dropped the call before she heard any of it. I think that was the universes way of telling me to stay out of it.
"she told me that she really
"she told me that she really wanted DH to play a more active role in the kids life, which is what DH had been trying to do and what BM had been doing her best to prevent"
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BM messaged something similar to me on FB. I debated whether or not to respond. I have wondered if I made the right choice. She told me she felt the skids needed to see him making an effort. I was SO tempted to respond with "If skids aren't able to recognize the days he missed pay from work to sit in court to enforce visitation, the endless phone calls he's made that have gone unreturned, the numerous messages...phone, email, & text that have gone unacknowledged, or the gifts we have building up in our home until they can take the time to come see their dad as effort on his part, perhaps you haven't done very well with helping them understand that effort can come in ways other than DH shoving money in your pocket (that you would likely not give him credit for anyway)."
Instead, I replied only with, "I was just wanting to get in touch with the kids to let them know we love & miss them. I'm not going to fight DH's battles for him. He's a grown man & can speak his thoughts & feelings to you himself."
I've thought about it a number of times since it happened (about 4 months ago) & have sometimes felt it would've been a perfect opportunity. Other times, I tell myself that with it being in print, she'd certainly show the kids, her lawyer, a judge...whoever, & it'd somehow get me in deeper that I already am.
Oh, I would have went with
Oh, I would have went with "response #1". That was a good one! LOL
Hey StepAside, you wise lady!
Hey StepAside, you wise lady! So are you saying if I took the "just" out of my statement I should call her?
I hadn't thought of it that
I hadn't thought of it that way, but I see what you're saying. I find that when it comes to BM, I do tend to pad my thoughts with things like that in an effort to keep what peace I can between us. I know that anything she finds offensive or hurtful will be shown to the skids as an aid in her alienation, so I try to keep everything plain & factual. That's mainly why I don't get into defending DH or trying to speak on his behalf. I don't want to become part of the he said/she said crap.
Ignore the insecure drama
Ignore the insecure drama queen. Nothing good will come of it.
If you were to call and form
If you were to call and form any kind of response to BM, it would put you on her level. Do you really want that?