Things, in my head, have been unresolved since our last instance with the SD15 - her partying, and then bringing people over to our house while we were gone. Her BM placed her on restriction, taking away her phone at times, limiting her activity to doing nothing (yet taking her to the mall shopping and still leaving her alone at times). DH, in my opinion, hasn't done jack sh*t to really address the issue.

Needless to say DH has also been non-confrontational and NOT on top of things with SD15, that's just how he handles things. They even found out this week that she skipped her first period on Wednesday, and when I said it was to meet a boy, it was shoved under the rug quickly. He knows how I know, and he still doesn't agree with my snooping. Gets pissier about that than the actual problem at hand. So, with her skipping it was no consequence, just an "oh, well she's in her class now, we ALL skipped". Grr.

So, I still snoop. From snooping I see that she skipped her first period to meet a boy at the local coffee shop. Who knows whether or not they snuck off to "do" anything, but since I know that she has already had sex with him the first time they hung out (in hopes that it would be become something more), I took a different approach. From my observation, this boy has no intentions of making her his girlfriend. You can tell he just sees her as just someone that's easy and easy to convince that the sky is green when it's blue. She tries to play the card that she's laid back, cool with messing around, but truly she thinks that it's a way to get closer with someone. Buzz... wrong.

Mind you I'm still pissed at the other things that have gone on with SD15, but since NO ONE including BM or DH seems to talk to her about boys, sex, feelings, etc., I sent her something I had heard recently in reference to sex:

"You gotta know that it means something. It’s doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem, even though it feels like you’re just having fun. Don’t throw yourself around like you don’t matter. Because YOU matter.”

I went on to say: "I know you've been going through a lot and making some not-so-good choices. Some things are part of growing up and being a teen, and some are definitely stuff that no one should be dealing with quite yet. Truth is I'm protective over you as if you were my own. If I have an opinion it's only because I want the best for you, and I see all the great and wonderful things that make you who you are. When a parent or friend sees someone that has so much good in them, start to make bad choices, they want to do everything possible to help or guide them. I'm not trying to be your mom but I want you to know you can talk to me. I would like us to have a better relationship and would like for you to feel open about talking about things if you feel comfortable. I know your side of the family isn't the type to talk about emotions or feelings all that often, but it doesn't mean we still don't have them."

Her response was short, brief, but stated "I love you too". At first I was frustrated, wondering, does she even care or get it?

Not long after this, I snooped again. I saw that she wrote to the boy... this time asking - am I just something on the side, or are you ever going to ask me out, or are you interested in someone else? He wrote back that she wasn't his girlfriend, and that he was interested in someone else.... then followed with (laughable) "but I still love ya!".

She said, too bad, I don't care... BYE. No communication with him since.

I want to think that my existence on this earth isn't just as a maid, cook, provider of things to my family, but that somewhere, someone in my life is able to benefit from some of my advice, or that I truly had an impact past the basic things I do from day to day.

Again, this moment may be fleeting, but I'll take it. She'll probably piss me off again and I'll have more things to blog and vent about, but today I'll take this small, minuscule moment where I think I got through to the child.