---Yes, anything to agree with whatever stepmom says. She is the only one who can be right in everything she complains about---

This doesn't seem to have any relevance to the facts posted by OP. It looks like an implication that anyone who disagrees with you only wants to agree with OP and can't possibly have a valid opinion based on the facts related.

I'm not investing in agreeing with an SM every time on every issue. I just think you're completely wrong on this one. (And your "completely unreasonable" phrasing lacked sensitivity as well.)

A juice box is not too big a serving size for a 4 year old.

Parenting is not about giving the kids whatever they want. Much more often, it's about teaching them the difference between feelings and behavior, and teaching them to behave appropriately even when they don't feel like it. As in, finish the juice before you go on to the chocolate milk, even if you don't feel like it.

It's not a big deal to re-direct a child's choice of drink. If you seriously think that it's wrong to tell a child to drink something that isn't their first preference, how are you going to tell the child to do their homework when they feel like playing video games? How much laundry are you going to do when the child wears five outfits a day because they wanted outfit A in the morning, but they want outfit B now and outfit C later? After all, they can change horses midstream at any time - you've told them so.

And FYI, I in fact *do* finish whatever I open before starting another drink, even if it sits in the fridge in between. That *does* have to do with waste, in my case, since I've already learned that it's important to finish what I start.

L

I had to do that with FSS8. 8 months ago, FDH and I slept on the FUTON while the kid got the queen size bed! Every other weekend, for 2 months. That was at the beginning of our relationship. I finally got that switched. We moved in together and the kid gets his own room. "Dad, I can't sleep if I can't see you. I'll have nightmares (always in a warning tone). I just want you to sleep with me."

THAT should have been the indicator, the kid was being 200% honest with what he wanted: he wanted Dad with him, and not with me. He would cry, whine, plead, and finally Dad would go "lay down with him for a bit til he falls asleep." Well, on night 4 straight where my FDH came into our room around 1am because he fell asleep in his kid's room, I put my foot down.

I told FDH that he was creating a serious problem that would only get worse, and he needed to nip it in the bud quick. The kid wouldnt die if he learned (AT 7!!) to sleep alone, we left the bedroom doors open til he fell asleep (hey ya'll, always lock your doors before having adult time when you are teaching kids to knock first). Night 5, FSS8(then 7) tries the usual "I'll have nightmares." Dad says no. Kid whines more and louder. Dad snaps at him to knock it off and go to sleep, than Trigger has work the next day. Whines more, starts crying. Dad starts to get up, I told him just wait. Crying get louder, starts wailing "I want my daaaaaddddeeeeeeyyyy! I'm scaaaaared" I told FDH he can tell if the kid is genuinely scared or trying to get attention within 2 seconds of him going in there: if crying stops immediately, he wanted attention, and congrats you just gave it to him. If he still sobs, he was genuinely scared.

FDH waits another minute, wailing is louder and louder. he's worried about waking the upstairs neighbors (yeah, they're already awake now, since you didn't put him to bed until 10:30, against my wishes). He walks in, and the crying ceases within a second. Like, his body is through the door and the crying stops. "Dad, why didn't you come? I was scared. I want you to sleep with me. Dad, did you know a shay train is ...." FDH sat down on the bed and told him it was bedtime, and he knows FSS was just crying to get attention, and to knock it off. That he is being selfish for keeping me awake, since I have to go to work (not to mention I had only been getting about 4 hours of sleep a night because of the bedtime battles). FSS says "It hurts my feelings when you say that to me Dad. I just want you to sleep with me." Dad tells him "It hurts MY feelings when you don't do what I say. You aren't making this any easier for me or Jenny. You don't want Jenny to leave us, do you?" "No." "Then go to bed, quit whining, and stop crying. You need to sleep in your own bed." ***comes back to bed with me*** **whining starts** Dad: FSS, GO TO SLEEP!!!" End of game

Sorry to vent, but you are not alone, and if you dont nip it quick, and this goes for anyone going through this, not just OP, the child gets worse and worse. It becomes control over who gets bio-parent's attention: kid or stepparent. The bio-parent MUST lay down rules, or resentment builds from the stepparent of being alone at night, or unable to have a sexual relationship with the bio-parent, because the CHILD wants it that way.