I am a widow too. All I can say is you deserve to be happy and you cannot control your step children. They are being selfish. They are grown people that need to get a life and let you have yours. If they want to be that way, then you can just move on and be happy.

You can only talk so much and be respectful before they need to then realize its your life.

Your stepsons are being completely selfish. I feel so bad for you because this is so hurtful.

If they had reservations about your new love's character then they would not alienate you. They would try and help you and discuss things with you.

If your stepsons have wives and families, then why should they begrudge you someone to keep you company as you grow older?

This is cruel, but if they are willing to turn on you whenever you are not their little obedient puppet, what does that tell you? And if they aren't concerned with your future well being and happiness then that is even more reason for you to be. Who is looking out for you?

Thank goodness your natural children care about you.

Life can be taken from us at any moment. Don't waste it worrying about things that rob you of your happiness and peace of mind.

Welcome!

Widower here too at 35 years old...

BM to a BD20...

Suckered at age 37 to STBXH and STBXSD7...50/50 custody

Divorcing for the 1st time at age 40 years old....

They may get past it. I've seen boys have a really hard time when their father passes & they feel he's being replaced. My stepfather lost his father and within a few years his mother wanted to remarry. My stepfather really, really struggled with it & said a few harsh things. But his mother did remarry and they were together for nearly 10 very happy years before her second husband also passed (in his late 80s). My stepfather honored them throughout their marriage. It may just take some time. In the meantime you should know that it's about their stuff with their dad, and not about you. You need to do what will make you most happy. Best wishes.