I was brought up believing and knowing that hate is a sin and I don't know if it is hate that I am feeling but it sure isn't love I know that much......
My husband and I have been together 10 years married 9 he has always had physical custody of all three of his kids when I moved in it was SS5, SS11 and SD4 so I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea what I had signed up for in the years to come. My husband has always had my back no matter what has happened over the years and I have had his we have been to court starting in 2002 over 100 times because of BM till we finally got custody in 2008 100% legal and physical custody and visitation only when we said it was safe. The courts had finally seen BMs true colors well she ended up going to prison for a while and since she got out has been homeless and on dope and lots of alcohol it got so bad she started shooting up the drugs and we finally had to put a stop to the visitations. At first when I moved in the kids liked me and everything was great then BM started telling them to do ad say stuff and the oldest started running away to her when he was 12 and come to find out was smoking dope with SS when he was on 12. The two youngest started doing bad in school almost got kicked out in kindergarten so I stepped in and started helping BD with discipline and it seemed to work with the younger two. I do have to say the youngest boy straightened up and has been doing good ever since mostly just regular kid stuff and is now a straight A student working towards college and never disrespects me in any way shape or form we have a special bond which is great especially since I am unable to have kid of my own. Now that SS of mine boy is she a piece of work there is not one thing I have owed or had that she has not stolen from me and not one lie she hasn't told me I have never and will never be able to trust her no matter what and for the past year I have been having these feelings for her that I cant explain I just don't care I don't care if she is happy I don't care if she has what she needs I just plain don't care one bit! Am I wrong for feeling this way about her? I have given her chance after chance and she keeps doing what she does over and over and over and thinks if she says sorry every time that it will make things better I never in a million years thought a child could be so cruel and have absolutely no conscious about anything ever no matter who shes hurting or stealing from or lying to it has been family, friends, school, stores it doesn't matter who and she doesn't care if she wants something theres no stopping her and some of the things that come out of her mouth are unbelievable some things I wouldn't even say to my worst enemy. I have been putting up with her for ten years and I just cant handle anymore I don't try to hide the way I feel about her anymore 99% of the time I just ignore her. I feel bad sometimes when I think about how I feel towards her am I a bad person for feeling this way am I the only one? What am I supposed to do for the next four years till she turns 18????? Anybody have any advice at all or does anybody else feel this way towards their step child??????????