My DH told me yesterday that estranged sd17 has been looking at apartments. He had coffee with her yesterday, and she invited him to look at the one she wanted with her. She's still in grade 12, mind you. But 7 months full time with her BM is apparently enough for her.

First, I covered my mouth and laughed. "Haha sucker!" was what I was thinking in the moment. I apologized and told him to ignore me, I was being mean to laugh like that. (Fortunately, he didn't seem to think it was mean.)

Then, to my surprise, I was almost overcome by pity for the girl. Before she left our home seven months ago, her mom had quietly (secretly) encouraged her to do so - in my opinion to "stick it" to us, and to try to get child support. Immediately after she left here, BM wrote to the government that SD didn't live here anymore - before we even knew the girl wasn't coming back. This was her attempt to "get" us - since that means no child tax benefits for the SD anymore. Then came the request for CS. We ignored her. (The douche had been required to pay us a nominal amount for years and refused - I was hardly going to respond to her demands now.) Worst of all though, BM didn't even WANT sd there - she told SD and DH this herself - said she liked her free time and that SD should have to at least stay with us on the weekends. (Seriously - you plot to get her out of our house, then think that you'll force her on us on the weekends because it cramps your style??!)

BM obviously has realized that her plot backfired, and has now gone through SD's finances and determined SD can afford to get an apartment. So now, SD, who BM conspired to get under her roof for her own selfish reasons, is about to be out on her own before she has even graduated high school. I feel anger on behalf of the kid with a douche parent.

The next emotion though, was completely different. It was a combination of bitterness, relief, and "told you so!" I felt a fresh wave of bitterness that this child I once loved deeply turned her back on all we offered. I felt relief that the girl will be out away from BM's grasp; relief that her leaving here really never was about us, but about her and her mom; relief that my husband did not for a second entertain wooing her back. And I felt a giant "I TOLD YOU SO" that our dumb girl left our supportive home just to end up rejected by her mom and on her own anyway.

But, the best feeling of all came when my husband said that I never needed to feel bad about any of this. Not about BM and her antics, and definitely not about SD. "She chose this path, she decided to do it the hard way."

If I wasn't already in love with him, I'd fall madly for him now