Lately BM has been in full-on attack mode. The cycle between her and DH seems to go like this~ she says "I'm DONE" and sends terse emails about if and when SS can visit (which we keep telling her is never a problem unless any of us are sick). And hubby sends equally brief and neutral replies. But then she'll start making longer and longer emails where she'll make continued bitchy statements, threats, assumptions about us and so on. And my husband will reply to those things. Then she'll keep getting MORE nasty and then my husband feels like blowing up. Then she'll go back to the whole "Shut up...none of this is important, it's the same bullshit from you, keep it to visits only".

Today her email was just FULL of utter crap! Where to even start? The biggest one is that she ACTUALLY said that since SS doesn't come over here as often as the custody order says then "support should go up". WHAT? Se doesn't want to acknowledge my husband's parental rights, tries at every turn to undermine and decrease that, and then tries to use it as an argument why she should get MORE money?!!? Where does she get that from? She keeps saying that "other people" are the ones telling her all this stuff. These people don't even really know our family or the truth about this situation! And even her husband and mother don't know how she was when she was having the affair~ her husband hadn't started dating her yet and she would never be honest with her mother. Supposedly they are her biggest "fans"
in this, and she likes to say how if things go back to court then she's going to use her witnesses to "make the judge see".

Then, as an example of how it hurts to see hubby really trying sometimes and things not getting any better, he had asked her reasonably several times to stop "yelling" phrases in emails. Because she'll go on like "none of this stuff matters because IT'S IN THE PAST". And so on. And she likes to say that if he has a problem with her then it's only because he "misinterprets" things, not because of her. When she yelled about that particular thing, it was because he was saying how she shouldn't be trying to nix the holiday schedule for this Christmas because this is "his" year with him, and he's never been able to spend Christmas with him at ALL before. So she took the opportunity to jump and twist it, and say that he should forget the past and just do things HER way now. Well, sorry, no...we don't feel that's fair or right

But anyway, he had asked her many times not to "yell", and did again yesterday. What does she reply? "I'm going to yell, don't like it all you want but when I feel you've MISINTERPRETED things or you don't understand then I am going to make my feelings known". She can make her feelings known without yelling. It's disrespectful. But she justifies herself AGAIN.

I'm also sick of how she's trying to play this game of making my husband think he's crazy or has something seriously wrong with him...everything he says, she will never acknowledge. "HE'S" the one being hypocritical, "never" her. "HE'S" the one that "never" follows a court order, not her. Get this one~ she brings up AGAIN about how everything is how it is because my husband is only "in the picture" now, that he only wants to be a part of things now. This is such B.S.!!! He TRIED to be part of things when she FIRST said she was pregnant... and she told him he was NOT the father and that there was "nothing to discuss"!! And he and I both tried to get involved with SS the whole time until and after she went for support. But she still BLAMES HIM for all that, saying he wasn't around because that was "HIS" choice. grrrrr....it just frustrates the hell out of me! What is wrong with her???

Then she had brought up a week or so ago about how SS has nosebleeds every other week and recently had 3 in one week, so she "asked" for permission to take him at the time by saying "Do I have permission, Sir? since I HAVE to get clearance from you" . This was complete news to us, we've never seen him have one. And she went on about how my husband's "not the one who has to hold him still cause he freaks out, not the one who has to wash all the blood out of his clothes and linens". And she said how she was thinking about having the doctor check him out. So DH told her yes, by all means to call his pediatrician and see what they say, if he should be checked out. Our children never have nosebleeds that often, and it doesn't seem normal, and we think SS should be examined if he's having them that often. But now she says she's waiting until his next check up, at the end of January. Why is she doing this? To prove again that she doesn't have to do anything my husband says, and WON'T? And then tries to guilt trip him all the time about 'not thinking of his best interests'. Games!

The other reason she may not want to be open and include DH in this medical issue is that when he kindly asked to let us know when his check up is so that we can arrange to go, she said "Who's "we"? Your wife? (she refuses to call me by name anymore, even though she used to say it all the time when we were friends). Or his PARENTS? She is not his parent"....and she went on about that and all the reasons why there was no good reason that I need to be there... and again said how even though I'm married and my husband thinks I should go that I'm not his parent. She loves to throw that in my face. But our marriage counselor said, because of the situation with the adultery and all that~ if he goes somewhere with her, then I should go...period. It's only going to add to our issues in dealing with the affair if she wants to exclude me and demand that I not be around. She also tried to say that SS doesn't need a "circus" there because he's on edge enough. Oh, for God's sake...just because I'd be there doesn't mean it's a "circus", and we never witness SS being "on edge".

We also have no idea what she's trying to do with this whole issue about DH signing over his rights. She keeps talking about it...she also said in this email today that SS sees her daughter as his sister, and her other son as his brother...but our girls are just "the girls" to him and DH isn't Daddy, SS calls him by his given name when talking at her house. She repeated this thing about "he doesn't ask about any of you when he's here". We've told her that he doesn't mention any of her household or her when he's here either, but why is she trying to make it seem like he doesn't care about us? When he came last time, as soon as he came in he hugged the girls~ and when they're playing he DOES talk about how they're his sisters....she's just talking out of her ass, as usual. So why does it bother me so much when I know what she's saying isn't true? I just can't believe she actually BELIEVES it and goes around spreading it to everyone she knows to get more "back up" that's she's "right".

Well she keeps saying how her and her husband have been talking about him adopting SS since "before" DH was "in the picture". But she doesn't say anything about seriously discussing it with DH, she just says "more proof that you should just sign him over". I am thinking that she just means for DH to give up his custody rights...I don't know. But that's not going to happen. I think this because she says "A (her husband) and I have concerns about it and that's for us to work out". I know this is an assumption but, yeah, I'll bet they have "concerns"....they don't want DH to have any legal rights or custody but still want money.

just blowing off more steam