SS12 is very good at soccer -mainly thanks to DH encouragement and ferrying him to and from practice. When I first came on the scene DH would take SS to soccer practice on his days and weekends (no problems with this) but also on BM's weekends as she couldn't be bothered. So weekends when SS was not with us use to consist of Friday - pick up SS from school & take him to soccer practice then drop him to BM, Saturday mornings pick up from BM take SS to a game then return him to BM's. Our skid free weekend would only start on a Saturday afternoon and not usually until about 2pm when DH had finished playing taxi driver. As SS got older this got more annoying as his league started having games on a Sunday rather than a Saturday so even on skid free weekends going away was always a drama because we had to be back home on a Saturday night so DH could collect SS on a Sunday morning from BM and take him to his game then return him to BM. Eventually after numerous arguments I told DH that this is not happening anymore SS has a mother and on her weekends it is her responsibility to take SS to his games. BM retaliated by saying she couldn't afford to pay for fuel for her car to run SS to his games on her weekends. Yet another lie as at this point DH was paying her rent, council tax, giving her four times the amount of CS as recommended by the CSA calculator and paying for absolutely everything from school uniforms to soccer kits that SS needed. As SS spends 50% of the time with BM (on paper at least) and 50% with DH this was more than a generous arrangement. In reality with all the schedule changes implemented last minute by BM I kept track of this for a whole year and then showed DH actually SS was with us 80% of the time 20% with BM with her still raking in the CS.Again after much drama and fireworks last minute.com changes to the schedule were eventually brought to a stop.Obviously when DH informed BM she would need to take SS to his games on her weekends all hell broke loose.

Anyway fast forward to the present and DH tells me SS has been selected to take part in a soccer development academy. Training is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. SS is with us every single Tuesday and Wednesday and with BM Mondays and Thursdays. So I just say "oh that's nice for SS, you must be very proud of him".To which DH responds "I am but I have already told SS he will only be attending if BM agrees to take him on Thursdays as it's her day, I' m more than happy to take him on Tuesdays as it's my day." I actually could not believe it that FINALLY DH said this on his own without the usually arguments and fireworks between him & I that have accompanied him taking and fetching SS on BM day's. It may seem like a small thing but after having years of battling uphill with DH regarding BM abusing the situation it is really great to not be hitting my head against a brick wall anymore!

DH use to say to me "But don't you think I want to see my son play every game if I could" to which I would respond with 'I'm sure you do but surely when you split up from cheating BM you knew that you would not be present 24/7 in SS life?You could have always stayed with BM and turned a blind eye to her infidelities and then we wouldn't even be having this conversation" . I would always say this with my sweetest smile much to DH's annoyance as he would never know how to respond to that.