Contradiction 101
so sunday we asked ss all day if he wanted to see BM,, no no no no no!! ok so you you dont want to go to her house for the next few days? your going to go to camp right?? yes, i want to go to camp. ok.. had a great day, went dowling, played out side, very good day. 7pm rolls around, made a good dinner, showers getting clothes out for camp. WHAAAAAAAAAAAA,, I MISS MY MOMMY, WHAAAAAA, i wanna go to my mommy's. i dont want to go to camp. WTF??? so dear FH says,, SS, we asked you all morning if you wanted to go and you said no. so he called BM and she said she could meet him now to get SS. listen FH, sick to your shit!! you told asked him in the am if he wanted to go, the only reason he wanted to go was becasue he knew he wouldnt have to go to bed early there, he stays up til 12 drinking soda and eating doughnuts playing xbox all night.
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I also think that asking SS
I also think that asking SS if he wants to go to his mom's is a mistake. If he gets to decide in the morning, he should get to decide at night, right? That is kid logic. It does set a precedent and you are setting yourselves up for manipulation in the future. That said, dad should not have let him go, because now he is learning that this behavior works. If he does it again, you can't blame him, because we repeat behaviors that work. I think it would be better to set things up in a way that he does not get to choose, unless it is some special, odd occasion. In that case, once he chooses he should live with the consequences.
Definitely not up to SS to
Definitely not up to SS to decide where he goes and when. Her days are her days and your DH's days should be his days. Non-negotiable. If camp falls on BM's time it should be HER decision on whether he goes to camp or not. If it falls on your DH's time then his decision. Never should it be a child's decision.