Regardless of why or how, the baby is here. The choicee was whether to love or not. Maybe this is why my DH is so fixated on love being a choice. You choose to see the good in someone and choose to love them. It's your freewill choice whether you do or don't. He chose to try. His confidence and trust was broken, but he loved the baby. You thought you loved the mom and you've had your trust shattered, but this innocent child is something different. He chose to try for that baby. They had a second child together, part his choice... actually mostly his choice. His feelings on single children made him feel a second was important. He cared for the second baby from day one. The first baby he wasn't allowed to even touch by her. The second she wouldn't hear cry and wouldn't pick up to console even if she did. He fed, rocked, cradled, changed and cared for the second as if he were alone for the most part (our job makes that actually pssible). BM left when 2nd child was old enough to not need 24/7 parenting. As soon as she could wipe her own butt - BM was gone, with the kids.

As the dad in Minnesota, you don't have much choice. He still can relate and total feel the feeling of the UHaul pulling out of the driveway, walking back in the house and hearing an echo throughout their room, the living room and kitchen.

He fought. To the tune of $70,000 that we're still paying off to get full custody. He had chosen (and still does) to love those kids and want to provide and be a FATHER to them. This is Minnesota though, if you don't own a P*ssy (sorry, but true) you don't stand a chance.

Side note..... as a mom that doesn't agree with how this state treats dad's.. if you are a Minnesota guy with a real reason, I do have connections to help you and I will help you as best I can. Our laws are not fair to the kids and even as a mom, I realize that (my ex actually realizes what I'm talking about, although it doesn't apply to him/me)