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Bday party for SGD6

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Since I last blogged, my hubby and I purchased the lake house I mentioned and have been working to get settled in (taking forever since we're only there on weekends.) This past weekend, we had our first gathering, a small birthday party for SGD6. Unlike prior parties, DH was heavily involved. He communicated with SS26 about the party and ordered and wrapped all the gifts. Unlike prior years, I bought no elaborate decorations, custom birthday banner, etc. My contribution was ordering a partially decorated cake that I then added a couple toys to and ordering pizza for delivery.

OMG, is there no end to the selfishness?

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Seriously, does this not take the cake? SS26 announced to DH and me that he, SDIL and SGDs were going out to an ice cream shoppe for lunch & ice cream. After DH and I have acted as servers all week, taking their dinner orders, calling them in, and then carting our happy @sses all over the area each evening picking it up and paying for it, do you think SS26 would even ASK if we wanted to go, or ask if they could bring us back something?! H*LL NO! And we would have given them money and not expected them to pay for ours.

How would you feel about this?

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We're on vacation with SS26, his DW & 2 SGDs this week. SS25 & his DW came for 2 days & had to leave. This is a 7BR beachfront  house with private pool, hot tub, pool table that we paid over $11k to rent and we're buying all groceries plus paying meals out. Things have been better than last year because I bought paper plates, plastic cups, plastic cutlery as someone here suggested to limit dishes. I also bought no food that can be cooked (like eggs) &  we're carrying out every meal due to COVID.

My DH seems depressed

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My DH seems so depressed lately. His birthday was over the weekend. He DID get a text from SS26 but nothing from SS25. Interestingly, he had messaged SS25 a couple weeks ago to tell him about our family vacation coming up and had heard nothing. (For those who recall my last blogs, I said I'd never do a beach house again due to all the work, and DH booked a 4 BR hotel room with maid service.

Proud of my DH--he did vacation planning! lol.

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Just when I thought I could not love my DH more, he has come through in a big way. He made all arrangments for the vacation planning with SSs and notified both of them directly. He booked a 4 BR oceanfront beach condo with maid service each day. which was actually several thousand dollars LESS than we spent last year for the beach house!  I will decide how much of the time I'm going as we get closer, but it has a direct flight from where we live, so I may go .later in the week. He emphasized to me that he wanted ME to be happy with what we booked, and that went a long way.

Update:Talk with DH about vacation with SKs

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I decided to talk with DH last night about taking adult SKs, SDILs & SGDs on vacation. It was not good. I feel so very sad. I told DH again I don't want to go to a beach house and have to wait on grown adults, cooking, doing dishes & cleaning. I asked him pointed questions, such as whether he liked having to do those things while SKs relaxed on the couch & did not lift a finger, and he said he "wished it were different." His tone was very defensive, as it has been every time I've said anything remotely critical of the SKs.

Dreaded “vacation” text arrived!

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I blogged last year about how miserable I was after taking SS25, SDIL & SGDs 4 & 6 on vacation to a beach house. DH & I not only paid for everything but for any meals we didn't eat out, DH & I cooked & cleaned up after them while they relaxed and enjoyed "their" vacation, leaving me exhausted & feeling like I didn't have a vacation. I swore I'd never do that again.

Disgusted and speechless

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This evening DH received a text message from BM saying she was at the urgent care with SS24, asking if SS24 was still on our health insurance (he is, until age 26!) and for a copy of the insurance card. NO information whatsoever as to what was wrong with SS24. DH forwards her the text he sent SS24 several months ago when we got a new copy of the insurance card and ASKS what's wrong with SS24. BM finally texts back that SS24 is dehydrated and throwing up.

Feeling resentful again

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I have an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I saw on FB my youngest SS posted a meme about how his mother deserves "the world" for Christmas but all he can afford to buy her is a pair of socks. A few days ago, he shared a song called "Mom is Dad," I guess about a single mom who has to be both.  I don't know if my DH saw these things, but I find them incredibly offensive. Youngest SS, now 24, has NEVER bought DH ANY gift for Christmas. Yet tonight, I finished wrapping 7-8 gifts EACH for SS24, his wife, plus SS25 and his wife.

The Holidays, 2nd class citizen time!

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I am trying to remind myself how much better I have it now that my SKs are GROWN, CS has been over for several years and SSs 23 and 25 live 2 and 3 1/2 hours away, so they're not a regular part of our lives and issues involving them are infrequent. I admit the relationship is distant and appears to be based on what we can give them, so I recognize we're the parents they're least closest with and see the least.

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