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Fine line between new babies and new "toys"...

smileandnod's picture

Submitted by smileandnod on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 1:44pm

I am EXTREMELY fortunate to have my SD5 and 7 absolutely LOVE our new babies! That being said...when they are at our house, I feel like I lose all control. The babies cry more because they can't nap or play because they are constantly being man-handled. I don't really want to complain about the behaviors, because, like I said, I am ecstatic that the girls love and accept their new sisters. However, does anybody have any advice on how I can get the older girls to give the babies some space without causing resentment or hindering their enthusiasm??

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Thetis's picture

Submitted by Thetis on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 1:46pm

Hmmm maybe give the girls their own specail things to do? There are plenty of educational computer games kids can play (this can buy you about an hour of time) or maybe a game or task they can complete together because they are the "Big sisters"?

Hate-Me's picture

Submitted by Hate-Me on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 1:52pm

I know how u feel, the skids absolutely love their new baby brother BUT i just really dont like them getting too close to his face. They are always sick and it just seems like since the baby has been home he catches a cold, virus, etc. every weekend when they are there. Dont be afraid to limit contact with the kids, i dont allow them to play with his toys and they are only allowed to give him kisses on his hands and not his face. I mean your childs health is worth alot more than the skids feelings or wanting to play. I constantly remind them that he is not a toy or a doll. New rule in the house, if they dont cover their mouths when they cough they get in trouble. Especially with this swine flu thing goin on its not the time to be worried about a few tears because thet cant man handle your child.

Bradybunchmom's picture

Submitted by Bradybunchmom on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 2:15pm

My skids do this too. And they live in the house full-time. The second I turn my head they are in poor babies face screaming and shaking her. I have tried asking if they would like to be screamed at...they say no of course. I really don't know what to do. It has got to the point i don't let Mil and G-mil babysit anymore because they let skids do whatever they want...including shake and drag the baby around the room. Luckily my baby is almost 8 months now, so it is not as big a deal as when she were smaller. I basically just don't let them play with her muc at all and if they complain I say, well when you can learn to play with her properly then you can play with her. I just don't get it, my BDs leave her alone or play with her gently. Why can't the other 3?

smileandnod's picture

Submitted by smileandnod on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 3:19pm

I love the rule about not playing with their toys (and still don't get the appeal with throwing around the babies' blow up penguin when they have DSs, haha). The problem with giving them "big girl" activities is that they don't want to be big girls...they would rather squeeze on what's left of my lap next to the babies. I totally sympathize with not wantinbg the skids to get the babies sick, too! Story of my winter!! I have premature triplets with compromised immune systems as it is and we've been back and forth to hosptials and dr appointments all winter with viruses that turn to pneumonia, etc. The skids are constantly sick and their "fantastic" mother refuses to do anything about it and doesn't think twice about sending them over to infect the babies! Ahhhhh! Guess I'm just going to have to start being a little more strict whether they like it or not.

smileandnod's picture

Submitted by smileandnod on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 3:21pm

I love the rule about not playing with their toys (and still don't get the appeal with throwing around the babies' blow up penguin when they have DSs, haha). The problem with giving them "big girl" activities is that they don't want to be big girls...they would rather squeeze on what's left of my lap next to the babies. I totally sympathize with not wantinbg the skids to get the babies sick, too! Story of my winter!! I have premature triplets with compromised immune systems as it is and we've been back and forth to hosptials and dr appointments all winter with viruses that turn to pneumonia, etc. The skids are constantly sick and their "fantastic" mother refuses to do anything about it and doesn't think twice about sending them over to infect the babies! Ahhhhh! Guess I'm just going to have to start being a little more strict whether they like it or not.

sadstep's picture

Submitted by sadstep on Tue, 01/05/2010 - 4:04pm

Where is DH, babies are not to be drug around. Special care and delicacy is in order. If you can't say it I'd definitely have dh do a family meeting/sit down with you all about appropriate and inappropriate behaviour with the babies / (8 month old?)

ps In my house baby nap time is GOLDEN, people can get in big trouble for waking up the baby. It is quiet time for everyone! Much needed for everyone I might add... Not a damned thing wrong with quiet time. They better learn that early..

Hate-Me's picture

Submitted by Hate-Me on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 6:49am

i hear ya, my son was one month premie, had him at 35 weeks and 6 days. sd3 has had a cold for...EVER. i swear shes had it since the summer, its like a deep whooping cough and BM just ignores it. SS2 has had a runny nose for a good month as well and finally started getting the same cough. so needless to say, i dont take any chances with BS4 mos.