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is it wrong that FDH and I don't want him to be alone with BM?

SisterNeko's picture

It has always been like that but FDH had been under the impression that he HAD to at times. Now we are starting to realize that he doesn't or at least we don't think so, right?

I ask because there is a doctor's appt. coming up and for whatever reason it's an hour away. Last time they car pooled together (alone) and FDH said it was uncomfortable (I will explain why). So this year he wants to drive separate and I am sure it's going to go over like a lead balloon with BM, who we think is having money issues so gas prices play a factor.

WHY is was uncomfortable - FDH called me to tell me how it went and closed with 'Bye, I love you." and BM started crying. Then she blamed the tears on SS4 medical issues which they talked about until she got mad and stopped talking. Then she tried to 'force' FDH to take the Tuxes that BM bought for the boys to use in OUR wedding because it just made sense (um not really they may not even fit by then). She asks random semi-personal questions and remissness about the time when they were married. She used to complain about me but she doesn't any more because it really makes FDH mad and he goes off on her.

Yet another reason why they shouldn't be alone - BM lies! I trust FDH completely around BM. I know he hates her and would never cheat on me but BM thinks every guy wants her and she lies all the time. So it would be easy for her to say that something happened just to make it seem like FDH still loves her. Grant it she may say that stuff any way but if they are never a lone together at least we can raise the question - when did that happen? and say so and so was there ask them.

Comments

Jsmom's picture

I would say it is not wrong if it bothers you. I am lucky in that if DH was next to BM I think he would strangle her...

herewegoagain's picture

No reason for them to ride together or be alone for any reason. They are no longer married. End of story.

BSgoinon's picture

2 years ago SS had to have surgery. BM couldn't afford to drive to the hospital (an hour and a half away) so she asked if she could ride with us. I went, so I wasn't worried about her being ALONE with DH (and he wouldn't have done it had I not been there with him). It was SO awkward for her. She sat in back with SS, we didn't talk to her. She would try to insert herself in to our conversations with SS and we would just pretend like she didn't even say anything. If DH and I were talking we would talk just low enough that she knew we were talking but could not hear us. It was actually pretty funny.

Why don't you go with them?

SisterNeko's picture

I went with then once - ss4 has a lot of doc appts - and it was awkward a lot like what u wrote. But as time passes I can stand BM less and less Smile now the sound of her voice makes me want to vomit and her actions make me want to smack the piss out of her. So I avoid her as much as I can.

Recently ss4 was in the hosp. W/ flu and BM asked FDH to stay the nIght w/ ss4 I was ok with it but I told FDH if BM didn't leave like she said then he needed to come home. I also did go visit him mainly to avoid getting the flu but also avoiding BM.

FDH more or less has to go or he has to call the doc himself - we no long accept info from BM as having any merit. She lies. Also if ss4 gets upset she cries and leaves the appt with him. So nothing gets done but ss4 is getting better with appts.