I will start by saying that disengaging was the best thing I ever did. I had no idea any of this was going on until DH filled me in. A few years back, I would have been the only adult to notice and it would have made me crazy trying to fix it. Ignorance is bliss when it's someone else's kid.

It started 2 weeks ago when SD15 came over with a hickey. DH noticed it right away and contacted BM. BM insisted that SD15 and boyfriend are always supervised and blew it off as nothing. DH let BM know he wasn't comfortable with SD15 dating because she is so immature and makes bad decisions. The boyfriend is a troubled kid and is suicidal. This is a really bad type of relationship for SD15 because she is so easily emotionally influenced. BM insisted that she will continue to allow SD15 to see this boy and will not restrict it.

DH stewed over it for several days, and finally decided to talk to BM about getting SD15 on birth control. Once again BM blew it off. She did eventually agree, but in a way that was obvious that she had no intentions of following through.

Fast forward to this weekend. DH caught SD15 texting nudes to the boy. Once again, BM refused to believe it's true until she searched the phone and found a photo of the boys junk. Of course SD15 deleted the photo she sent of herself so BM will still believe she's mostly innocent. DH is at a loss. He can't control what happens at BM's house and SD15 is only with us every other weekend now that school has started.

The other problem is that SD15 tells SD12 all the details. SD12 has a different BM so they are only together at our house. Basically, DH is fully responsible for the influence that SD15 has on SD12.

When DH dropped SD15 off at BM's yesterday he told her that he will no longer force her to come to our house. SD15 has tried to cancel almost every visit for the past month and DH wouldn't allow it. Now it will be SD15's choice, but if she decides to come visit, she's not allowed to bring her phone with her. She would have no contact with the boy while at our house. I doubt that she will want to visit at all now. I'm not so sure this is the right way for DH to handle it, but I honestly don't have any other solution.