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9 year old step daughter wants to sleep with us?????????? help

sherrilyn821's picture

9 year old also does not want to do homework or pick up after herself. She has lived with her dad for last 3 years. bm.comes and goes. any suggestions

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3bk1sd's picture

No way! We don't let our 2 year old sleep with us, she has her own bed and our bed is OURS.

sherrilyn821's picture

agreed............i make him go to her room when she wakes up at least 3 times a nite.........am getting tired of it

no1smaid's picture

No.

Just imagine the stories BM would get if dad woke up with morning wood and she saw it. Or forget BM, imagine a teacher at school over hearing her tell some friend of hers "I slept with my daddy last night and his thingy was hard."

Put her to bed. Lock your room door. When she can't get in, she will return to her own bed. Invest in a nightlight if the dark is what her issue is.

sherrilyn821's picture

fixing to start a new nite... he had to lay down with her n her bed, now , how long will she make it. just venting guys. oh and missing bm has had her 3 times since dec. 3, our wedding day.

JaneySW's picture

I need help with this as well. SS is six and cant sleep here because he has his own room. BM lets him sleep with her and says she is not going to say no because it is what he wants. So he wakes up because of noises and/or gets scared and wants to sleep with us. He is so tired with us because he is not sleeping well...Not sure what to do.

sherrilyn821's picture

yes

JaneySW's picture

He has spoke to the bm about the importance of working together with this...He told her he needs to be in his own bed...She does not care and is not gonna change. He trys but he is not sure how to make any change with her.. She needs him with her for her comfort... If ss has a bad dream or scared I can see why he comes in to our room. There is one night he slept with us with out either of us waking.. He told me he could not sleep because of the tv on in our room and it was our fault he is tired...Are you kidding me? lol I gotta admit it was cute and all but I told him that is the reason we all sleep in our own room.

My Brady Bunch's picture

UGH, my SS15 did that one night when he was 12! He had a bad dream and his dad let him lie down next to him and he ended up staying there all night AND hogging the blankets so I kept waking up freezing cold. I was FURIOUS that my FDH let him stay there. I don't mind if one of the Skids come in to let their dad know they are sick or had a bad dream, but they are too old to be sleeping in bed with us!

somerg's picture

i honestly don't see anything wrong with occasionly letting the kids sleep in the bed room with you. my skids do that sometimes, we'll all cuddle up on the bed or the kids on the floor and watch a movie and next thing you know we're all waking up in the morning

Zoie's picture

No way does my SD9 sleep with us..she has tried and her dad told her you have your own room, your own bed - End Of Story...

Problem is when BM is between boyfriends she lets her sleep in her bed..so that's when all hell breaks loose and we have a terrible time with SD...arghhhhhhh...BM is such a pain in the ass...

Z

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

He needs to put her in her room, over and over and let her cry it out. It took my husband a whole week when we married, but it did work. It drove him batty though. (just a warning)

Sorry, I never co-slept with my own past 6 mths. and that was only on a rare occasion. I was not about to sleep with a strange 4 year old in my bed. That just did not feel natural to me.

good luck.

hbell0428's picture

Agree with all.........Ummmmmmm NO!!

Girls are a touchy issue when they get to a certain age. My boys will cuddle with dad and may even stay in the bed (occassionaly) but they are boys and it's a weekend. My BD11 asks me to cuddle with her and she'll even ask me to sleep in her bed sometimes.......I think that's cute (kind of funny that my BD still wants hugs and kisses but I will take it before she turns into a teen and wants nothing to do with me!! LOL

As long as they don't throw a fit when they are told NO!! It is a special thing that only happens from time to time.

purpledaisies's picture

My sil has a 3 yr old and twins that are 6 mths old and NONE of her kids sleep with her! SHE had that very clear. The only time is if the the 3 yr old has a bad dream or the twins are having trouble but they are still little. She will even put them back in their beds. She will try her best for at least 30 mins to get them to go back to sleep in their beds before she will even consider putting them in her bed. So as you can imagine it is very rare her kids are in her bed. So no at 9 he should not be in your bed!