My 16 year old stepdaughter says she'll kill my baby if I decide to have one!
I have been raising these kids for 9 years. I don't think I can take much more. I sit alone depressed. I cry so much that I'm sick of it. I want a baby of my own. I have always wanted that, but I can't have one with the man I love beacuse his daughter who I used to love tells me all the time how she will kill that baby because she won't share his attention with anyone else!! I wish I could say she only says this stuff when she's mad but she says it all the time very calmly. She said earlier today that she'd hate to hurt a baby, but she'd do it if I had one. I resent her and hate her at times! Then I feel so guilty for that. I can't stand the things I think about her, it makes me hate myself! I feel trapped and alone. I have never written anything about this before, but I have to get it off my chest. Am I wrong to hate her so much?
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don't tell her you're going
don't tell her you're going to call the cops. just do it. if you can, tape the conversation on your cell or some sort of recording device. this is insane, and it's not good for anyone--especially her--to think they can go around saying this sort of thing.
She needs VERY SERIOUS
She needs VERY SERIOUS IMMEDIATE psychological help. She is NOT a healthy person. Keep a tape recorder/phone recorder with you at all times to record this, so she can't lie about it. I'm assuming she's never said this around her dad? Make him aware of it. Wait til you have proof of it so there's none of the "you just don't like her" crap. Record it several times. Get her therapy immediately.
^^^^^AGREE!
^^^^^AGREE!
Oh yeah, she'd do it. I think
Oh yeah, she'd do it. I think something is seriously wrong with her. She has been in counseling when she was younger. They even said she has no sense of compassion. For instance, when someone dies, even someone close to her, she shows no emotions. I had to put my cat of 10 years to sleep a couple of years ago and the kids wanted to come into the room before the vet did it to say goodbye. My mother was with me. I didn't want the SD to come in cause I knew she would be insensitive. She came in cause my mother thought I shouldn't leave her out. Everyone else pet the cat and said goodbye. She poked my cat over and over til i yelled for her to get out. Something is very wrong with her and no one wants to deal with it, listen, I don't know...
tape it as often as you can -
tape it as often as you can - then don't mess with therapy - call social services for emergency help.
She very likely is a
She very likely is a sociopath. I'm very sorry but there is no treatment for sociopaths - you just try to keep them contained. Ted Bundy was a sociopath to the max. One SS is a sociopath (but not to the Ted level) - never met him and he is now dying. Death is the only end to being a sociopath.
I totally agree with
I totally agree with this^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I think most people think of sociopaths(AKA psychopaths) as serial killers etc. But these people walk among us, reeking havoc, but have not actually cause physical harm, but rather emotional damage. Read, "Venus-The Dark Side.". It's about female sociopaths. Dealing with this personality disorder is fruitless; it is a matter of self-preservation, more than anything. We think my SD30 has sociopathic tendencies. While I don't think she would hurt anyone, physically, she has and continues to try and ruin people's lives, without remorse. Everything is about her and for her. She has no regard for other's feelings, the rules of society and common decency to others, unless it somehow benefits her.
Record it, show her dad and
Record it, show her dad and if he doesn't institutionize her, call the cops.
Regardless she still needs
Regardless she still needs help HRNYC. Maybe the cop won't do anything and I agree with that but this kid still needs help. I mean who in their right mind would say she would kill an unborn child and be serious about it?? No one she needs help.
Op what does your dh say about all this? If it were me I'd leave b/c i'd want a normal life for me and my future kids. Especially if i really wanted kids and having her in my life is preventing it I'd just have to leave and let her parents deal with her.
She does need help though.
This. I don't care if the
This. I don't care if the child isn't conceived yet, that makes it almost worse IMO. She is trying to manipulate you by threatening the very worst thing she can think of. The fact she would even think of hurting an innocent baby shows that she has some very deep psychological issues. That is not normal by any stretch and if you do have your baby OP, I would make darn sure that girl never came near it.
This kind of concerned me:
This kind of concerned me:
"didn't want the SD to come in cause I knew she would be insensitive. She came in cause my mother thought I shouldn't leave her out."
Why is it that your mother thought that she should be let in to the room and you didn't? I'm only asking for you to think about it. I've been on all sides of this equation. So what do you think?
I have been with SD since she
I have been with SD since she was 7. She has always been cruel to others when they are emotionally hurting. My mother had never seen it cause she isn't with her that often. After that she even thinks something is wrong with her. SD's BM is the same way. She has slapped me in the face on two different occassions for putting her on restriction. I am the only parent these kids really have. Their mother refuses to be a parent. She left them to party it up, and all I can say about my husband is he is living on fantasy island. He doesn't want to admit anything is wrong. When there is any conflict he yells at me that he doesn't want to hear all this bullshit. He heard her last night say she'd kill a baby if we had one. He asked her what did she just say and she repeated it. I looked at him and he just sat there looking confused and didn't say anything. And don't worry I would never bring a baby into this world while I am in a home with her. I think I know deep down that i need to get out of crazy land. It just hurts so much. I love my husband and my SS. I used to love her, but I guess that love just died. I can't take anymore.
What did you do when she
What did you do when she slapped you?
I would have called the cops and had her arrested.
Also, why do you say you
Also, why do you say you can't have a baby because of your SD and her reaction? what does HE have to say about this? Many asked you that. I'd like to know the answer to that too. No offense but something tells me that HE'S the real problem here...not her.
He is part of the problem,
He is part of the problem, but she is a problem too. He feels guilty cause their mother ran off and left them all. He came from a broken home and feels like it's his fault that they have problems.
Oh wow, I'm so sorry Shell.
Oh wow, I'm so sorry Shell. I've been there. The problem lies completely with your husband. He's not "part" of the problem..he's the WHOLE problem. Trust me. If you can't get him to get beyond the guilt, you're doomed. You know how I did it? I kept putting articles on the refrigerator. Little by little, he got around to my point of view and we fixed it. But I'm serious, your SD has nothing to do with this. It's all up to you and your husband.
legally, this qualifies as
legally, this qualifies as assault. two of my DH's best friends are special agents. do not shrug this off as annoyance or nonsense. call the cops. make a report. then get her in therapy or get out of that house.
she's a minor..please. It's
she's a minor..please. It's not an assault legally.
double post..oops
double post..oops
You may watch the news, but
You may watch the news, but I'm one of those who MAKE the news....Most 13 year olds are NOT tried as adults, dear.
In the vast majority of
In the vast majority of states, children over the age of 13 (some states say 12) who have committed a violent offense that, should an adult have committed it, would be a felony of the first degree including violence such as murder, attempted murder, rape, aggravated robbery or felony murder (commission of a felony in which a life is taken inadvertently) can be tried as an adult. There is a complex process by which the child is evaluated and is then adjudicated through the juvenile system or adult system. If convicted as an adult, the juvenile is placed in a secure juvenile facility until age 18 at which time they are transferred to prison to serve the balance of their time.
While MOST 13 year olds are not tried as adults, MOST 13 year olds do not commit adult crimes. Those that do are treated accordingly.
How do you make the news? Are
How do you make the news?
Are you also a psychopath? Have I seen you on America's Most Wanted?
I am confused. I have seen some crazy nonsense these past few days.
If I were in your situation,
If I were in your situation, I'd do one of two things. If I'd had a REALLY good day, I'd be merciful and only punish her by disowning her and booting her sorry arse out. If I weren't in a good mood, I'd probably kill her without a second thought for threatening to harm me (I consider my biological children part of "me").