you're in the right place for venting too! lol

Personally, I don't care who's child you are, you will not talk like that in my home, van, presence- period. Had that been me, I'd pull over that van in a heartbeat and give him a good ol fashion eye to eye, adult vs child, and I'M THE ADULT, etc... You know, the whole thou shalt not talk back, etc etc... Then pull over to the nearest grocery store, buy a bar of soap and shove it in his mouth as my mother did... ummm the taste of Zest. Or hot scauce, that I quickly learned! But I know some reading this would object to that, but sometimes, some of these kids out there need that good ole fashion punishment.

Perhaps he needs a set of goals to earn that skateboard instead? Like an earned allowance? If he wants a new one so bad, let him earn it instead. That way, he may take more pride in his things.

I think I would take it all away, not give him anything else, for God's sake. Make up a set of rules and consequences, communicate them to the child and then enforce, enforce, enforce. Every time he dropped an f-bomb, I'd confiscate something important... computer, iPod, cell phone, etc. He gets them back when he demonstrates proper behavior or goes back to his mother's house, whichever comes first.

Ah, Step Mom, those were the days! A bar of soap, a well-placed backhand... what happened to the days when kids had a healthy respect for their parents and truly feared the consequences of bad behavior? I can still hear my great-grandfather telling us, "You kids don't want me to get my razor strop, do you?" Not that he ever would, he was the kindest, gentlest man that ever walked the earth, but we all felt such a great respect and even reverence for him. We never would have acted ugly enough to warrant him taking that strop to the backs of our legs, not that he would have ever really done it. But we respected him enough not to push him to find out if he would!

~ Anne ~

You have every right to be upset, and withholding gifts that your famly and you purchased isn't wrong. If you do want to give him those gifts anyways, relabel them coming only from dad. My ss is not a well liked child in my family, and my family refuses to buy him gifts (all but my mother, she gives him $10 for bdays and holidays). When my ss backtalked my brother in his house, my brother got in his face and backed him up against the wall and verbally gave it to him. My dh later thanked him (we were not there at the time).

This year for Christmas, my ss made his list...laptop, ps3, nintendo wii, his own pc, and his do not buy list...clothing of any kind, movies, games I didn't specify...

Let me tell you something, my ss is lazy, is rude, disrespectful, and does the bare minimum to get by. My dh and I did not buy anything on his Christmas list. In fact, just to play with his ego, I'm going to buy socks for his Christmas gift:) I guarantee he will be disappointed with the gifts he received from dh and I. My dh even told ss "for Christmas, you get what you deserve..." if my ss was well mannered, and behaved, and rarely backtalked, well we would have gotten the things on his Christmas list. But he isn't, so therefore, we bought him items we felt were good for him (like guitar amp, guitar rack, headphones...all equal in value of a nintendo wii).

Now if my ss dropped an fbomb in my vehicle, I would pull over and smack him in the mouth. I've stated that before, and my ss knows I will take it there if he does that. Soap is a good idea too:) But you have to be on the same page of music as mom, our bm doesn't like ss's attitude either, so when we discipline him she thanks us (there are times she has underminded us in the past, but now that he behaves so badly, she now supports us). If your bm doesn't support your dh's disciplining this child, well, he will probably go undisciplined.

with $4200 a month in support I would say "Ask Mom to buy it"!