My mom went through a phase where she wanted the estate that she and my dad have created to be split equally between their direct decendents.  I actually had no problem with this. I want my parents to fully enjoy their resources in their retirement and hope that they bounce the last check that they write.

My brother agrees.

Mom was set on her trust idea with my brother, his 3 kids and I sharing the trust equally.  My brother took extreme exception to this idea.  He informed mom and dad that if they insisted on this that he would refuse any of their estate for he or his children as long as they were minors and would disinherrit his own children if they accepted any share of mom and dad's estate upon their demise.  My brother did not feel that it was fair that he and his three kids would share 80% of our parent's estate and I would be penalized for not having had any BKs.  His message to mom and dad was split it between he and I equally or I would get it all.

He told them that it was his job to provide for his family and to provide an estate for his children and it was my responsibility to do the same.

So, the Will remains unchanged.  Mom and dad's estate is split equally between he and I upon their demise.  He and I will supplement their support if either or both of them outlive their resources which is extremely unlikely.

My DW and I are each other's sole heir and beneficiary should one of us survive the other.   Odds are, she will survive me as I am 12 years the elder.  In the event of our co-demise our estate goes to my SS.  His mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo.  I raised him as my own.  He asked me to adopt him when he was 22.  We made that happen.

Odds are, eventually my SS will get all of the estate of his mom and I, and half of my parent's estate. He will have his own resources as well as he is 10.5 years from earning his retirement from the USAF and moving on to a private sector career.

My brother's kids will do much better as he is a highly successful corporate executive and their mom has a notable inherritance from both her BioDad and her mom and StepDad.

Then yes, thats strange that MIL would think that your husband would give everything to his child and leave out his spouse. Either way its WEIRD, however the logic being the poor defensless SS10 would not have a dad anymore and Im guessing dad pays child support, so whatever assets dad has would cover than unless there is a stipulation for life insurance. Which is what some parents do for minors.

I have no bios and love SD14 dearly. But lately Ive been wanting to disstribute things differently if it were to happen that DH and I go together.

In any case, he and I need to get wills together making each other sole beneficiary.

I've never discussed wills beyond my DH and I, and informing my will administrators of their role to make sure they would accept.  No one else's business.

Everything of mine goes to DH but for a portion of one of my investments that will have a smidge going to my niece. If DH dies first, everything goes to my sister and if she's not alive then everything goes to my niece.

Before I married DH I had some things spit among a couple of my very good friends who I also consider family.

DH, now, still doesn't have a will. He needs one I know, but he really doesn't have anything to leave me but for insurance through work (which goes to me) and teeny tiny savings (which goes to me) and the house - in both our names. I bug him a couple times a year about it and may get on it for him this fall/winter since we'll likely have ample time to do things.

What people REALLY need to do is a health care directive. Because you never know.

My family lives long.  Over the years, I heard several discussions about who would get what.  With one exception, all outlived their money.  Nursing homes are expensive.

People are so messed up.

My DH's older sister actually thinks that our house should go to her. Of course, his daughter thinks she is getting it. They are both wrong and will be so surprised that neither of them are getting anything.

My MIL is obsessed with the idea that SSs are entitled to "an income" from DH's estate. She seems to forget that he had nothing but debt after his divorce, so anything he has now is due to my managing his finances. 

When we were engaged, but not married, MIL said to DH (in front of me), "you should make BIL the executor of your will, so SSs get what is rightfully theirs." DH gave her a weird look, so MIL tried to play it off that I shouldn't be the executor because I wouldn't be able to deal with BM. However, MIL later followed up the conversation with DH alone and told him that he needed to make sure SSs got an "income" (whatever that means) from his will. Again, she doesn't seem to realize that any assets DH has are joint assets with me, so why would I be passed by...assuming SSs are adults when anything happens to DH. I will also add that DH's father died over 20 years ago and nothing went to him or his siblings...it all went to MIL. 

This is one of the many things that MIL has done that make me avoid her. I'm cordial enough when I see her, but I don't go out of my way to interact with her. 

of all her estate. Where we live its 50-50 not like in asian countries where the son gets double a woman on the basis he cares for his elderly parents (which my brother did not), my brother even went as far as to demand 2/3 of my dads estate.

after mum was buried my brother took all funds from her acct $20,000 ($6000 spent on burial) the rest him and his wife went on a shopping spree.

late last year my brother’s wife sent a psychotic rant to my husband how dare i have the nerve to claim my share of mums estate yet alone 50-50 and my brother should get everything as he is responsible for her happiness (meaning money and shopping sprees). That i am married to a rich man and that i have 4 homes. Hubby owns 3 homes (all purchased before marrying me which no foreigners can legally own as the land is strictly owned by locals) apparently i own our childhood home (dads place)....

whether my husband is loaded or not doesn’t negate you stealing a whole estate because of your bad life choices... my lawyer actually talked to my brother to explain that mums estate in asia, the whole reason my brother would get 2/3 is not to spend on his wife, its if something happens to me, some of that money is used to help us. 

But since we live in the modern western world where you are responsible for your own life, he should not be claiming an obsolete religious law because he has no intentions of keeping that extra money aside and since we are all married he should split it 50-50

my brother even claimed he would tell his kids he is an only sibling if I didn’t comply with him getting all the estate.

yeah his crazy wife says and has justified i should get nothing... it really angered my dad that she and my brother were trying to cut me out of the will

Estate planning is important.  It is especially important in the situation that many stepparents find themselves in.  Many states have a defacto inheritance distribution to the biological children when no will is present.  

Now that only takes things that go through a will probate into account though.

His insurance policies or other instruments where you are listed as the beneficiary.. do not go through probate and generally should not be at risk.

Property you own jointly should be deeded so that the survivor gets the balance of the property.. and doesn't go into probate territory.. you don't want to have his child owning part of the home you are living in.. it could get messy.

The balance of assets should have a clear directive as to how they are distributed.  It wouldn't be wrong for him to leave some funds for his child's future... sometimes there are even requirements in a divorce order that the bio parent owing CS must keep insurance that would cover those costs in the event of their death.  But, leaving something for the child's college fund etc.. would be ok.. .and if there are issues like you are living in a "family home" that belonged to his family.. perhaps the property would be titled to revert to his child after you died or left the home?  (my grandmother lived in her home under these conditions)

But, planning to make sure that something isn't a loose end to trip everyone up is important.  

I mean, I can see some logic that his parents might think he would make some arrangements for his child because there is no guarantee you would look out for his bio child if he were to predecease you.. shoot.. you coiuld go on to marry again and then die before your new spouse and he could leave it all to his kids...