So, I would just tell her that BM can shop the list that was meant for you!!! 

Welp, no gifts for her then. Take them back and she can enjoy what she gets at BM's. I'd have zero patience for that kind of pouting about presents.

My SD29 never gave DH a list but BM did, once. She told DH to let her know which items he would by so that they both didn't buy the same things. We ignored.

Why do these kids think they have a say in name picking?!! Did they get to chose their name?!! Seriously! 

I texted my best friend and asked her if she got asked what she thought of her sisters name before she was born. They are 14 years apart... she said she honestly doesn't remember but she remembered if it was a boy they had a specific name. Her parents are still married. 
 

Blows my mind why skids think they should be able to control that too! 

VERY early post divorce of BM and dh...kids very young mind you. Anyway, we thought it would be nice IF we told BM the kids list they made at our house. We told her HEY we are buying this stuff so you don't run out and buy doubles.

Now since Santa ONLY stops at BM's house the kids always opened presents at her place first. .

So, here are these little kids saying 'Oh we got this at home, OH  look, Santa brought this to OUR House"...there we were jaws on the floor. Here bm screwed us by buying everything WE bought for the kids.

It was really sad.

First year we just thought it was a fluke...so we were dumb enough to tell BM the kids list a second year. It happened again she screwed us another year.

. That was it never again. . We are good people and never thought someone would be so ugly to her own kids. WOW were we wrong about BM's like her. She set her own kids UP.

We just returned the stuff---

That kind of greed and entitlement is disgusting. BOTH parents are doing a shi!!y job by condoning and rewarding it.

I learned far more from what I DIDN'T get than what I did. I also learned to cope with disappointment, and was motivated to find ways to earn and save up money to buy those things. As the aphorism goes, pleasure deferred is twice rewarded, and it builds character, too. 

I feel sorry for kids like this. They're so jaded and entitled. Their parents have deprived them of all the wonder and the thrill of anticipation that "normal" kids enjoy. I'm in my fifties and still get excited about stuff, which IMO is also a gift.

That level of entitlement is almost unbelievable.  I'd be inclined to return a couple gifts.

We don't do lists, as skids are still kind of young (5 and 8).  We just pay attention to things they seem interested in.  We don't coordinate with BM; there's really no reason to because there's 50/50 custody and having the same thing at both houses wouldn't be a big deal.  But not duplicating things is pretty easy - BM is an impeccable housekeeper (me not so much), so we're always safe getting things like slime, putty, indoor crafts, and toys and games with lots of pieces, because those will never be welcome at BM's home.

If she's pouting so much about gifts you bought for her... then tell her not to worry. She doesn't have to accept them. ( seriously.... tell her you won't give them to her because clearly she's upset by it)

return the gifts and you and your DH take the money and do something fun for your selfs.

abd baby naming ..... I'm yeah no. She has ZERO say. If I were in your shoes I would make it very clear that her thinking she does get a say is a clear boundary violation. Baby name picking is the right of the Parents only. 

This must be in the stepkids playbook.  The exact same thing has happened here.  Spending lots of money on Christmas gifts and they are not the "right" ones.  SD making a list then crying about what she received.  SS pitching full out screaming fits and meltdowns over what he received when he was expecting a different family member to give it to him.  Disgusting, entitled behavior.

A baby that your man's sperm and your egg and uterus helped produce... no way would my skids even be able to suggest names!! Only 2 people here responsible for baby naming and thats me and hubby

my hubby is 100% against any skids involving themselves in bedroom matters and naming a baby is the product of an intimate bedroom matter

We went through that. We told the Skids we needed a list of what they wanted a few years back. SD14, who was then 10, said they already filled out their lists on their moms amazon account. I pointed out we don't have access to their moms amazon account, and if they wanted gifts from us, they'd have to tell us what they wanted.

Heres the thing: I suspect SD14 just doesn't want ME to be the one to make gift giving happen. She's never used anything I got her, if she knew it came from me. She doesn't even realize all her favorite things were things I picked, purchased, wrapped, etc. But if I didn't do it, she'd get a lot less, because her dad just doesn't plan ahead like that. There'd be no more makeup in her stocking, no more special birthday cakes, no high end hair care products and gadgets. She'd get a store bought something baked, maybe one utilitarian gift, and a gift card, because that's what he'd come up with, scrambling around the last minute.

Now we've gotten to a place where, if the Skids want something expensive, their mom tells my hubby so we'll be the ones to foot the bill for it. Thankfully, SD14 really doesn't ask for much expensive stuff. But the boys? Every single holiday.