I can't believe I NEVER thought of looking online for support. I've been a stepmom for 10 years now and I'm sure I've been driving my friends crazy venting about the same situation year after year. My friends have no idea how difficult being a step parent is, so they couldn't really relate to me or give me any advice. But here you all are and I feel a little better, more sane than I've felt in years!

I have a SS16 who was abandoned at the age of 6 by his BM. She changed her email, moved, quit her job...everything. I've known that my SS had ADHD since he was in 6th grade because of all the problems he was having. But my husband was in denial and finally 2 years later, the doctor convinced him his son would need meds. His impulsive violent behavior at school stopped and his grades went up. However, the emotional problems still remained. He was in therapy from age 6-8, but I think my husband stopped because he started traveling for work. I'm so dissapointed and resentful towards my husband for not getting my back and teaching his son to respect me, especially while he's away for work and I'm the only one talking care of him. Now my SS is in high school and til this day, has not said Happy Mother's Day or Happy Birthday to me. Or even Thank You when I drop him off at school. After fighting so many years with my husband over him, I finally figured out that I needed to abandon my SS as well las summer. At first I felt guilt for not giving him rides to school on rainy days or 100 degree weather, but OH WELL. Now I get to focus on my 3 kids (10, 8 and 5) only.

The problem is, my husband lets his son get away with too much out of pity. He's always saying one thing like, "No iTouch for 1 month"! Then, 2 weeks later, it's in his hands again! I love my husband so much and we NEVER fight about anything else...but what a "turn off" this is!!! I can't stand a man that can't stand his ground! Especially to a kid! There's no way if any of our kids got caught doing what my SS does that they would be let off the hook that easily. He's setting such a bad example for the rest of the children. I'm beginning to think my husband has no parenting skills. He told my friend that I NEEDED to go to therapy-just me. No, I think WE BOTH need to go! I don't appreciate him making it seem like I'm the mental case.

I have an 80 year old aunt that warned me when we got married. She said, "He will always chose his son over you. Blood is thicker than water. You'll never win"! Until now she and my uncle are fighting over her SS who is over 40 years old and can't hold down a job because no one else in the world will pity that he had a broken family and give him a break. This is all because my uncle pitied him his whole life and always bailed him out. Now I see what she meant and I'm so scared for my future. Sometimes, I wonder if it's better to just go through the hurt now-seperate and I can find happiness later on down the line. Rather than stay in this situation where I'll never win and be miserable until I die. UGH! I guess if I'm going to do it, I better do it NOW while things haven't migrated SOUTH! ha ha! I know if my husband doesn't agree to go to therapy with me so that we can work as a team on discipline, then...it's not going to work.

I've been a stay home mom for 10 years, my kids are so sweet and kind because of it. They were worth sacrificing my career for, but I'm so "stuck" right now. I need to start making some money again so I can stand on my own two feet and have some "options".
Anyway, thanks for having this here for me to vent. I'm not even on FaceBook or Twitter (no time). So, this is very new and strange to me. I just needed to get it all out because my husband and I have not spoken to each other in a week now. I feel like I'm going to explode once I open my mouth.