sammmx's Blog
"Give Sammmx a hug goodnight", "Eww no I don't want to."
Going to try posting this in the comment section since it hasn't been working...
I don't think I can do this anymore. I think I might break.
This is not how I imagined my life. And no matter how much love I have for BF, it cannot overcome the depression and sadness this life causes me. And he just does not understand it.
BM is back with her drug-dealing BF since he just out of jail.
It's been a while since I've posted, surprisingly things had mostly been going "okay" on the BM/Skid front. I mean, some things will never change, but there was nothing 'big' to speak off. The only real issues in my life were between BF & I and our 'baby issue' (I'm ready to start a family, he's got his own reservations based on his track record with kids/baby mommas. Anyway).
"I'm thinking we should bring the Skids with us."
I have never felt my heart drop so hard and heavy, I was just instantly overwhelmed with dread. Ugh.
I have to go to a different city on Saturday to write a huge test for my career (board registry exam) and BF is coming with me. I was excited for us to get away for the weekend, to have no skids, to spend some time with just BF. I have never been to this city before and he used to live there, so he was going to take me to some tourist places, show me around etc. So I was excited. Until now.
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Those of you with SKids and shared BioKids...
Did your DH want to have a child with you initially or did you have to help him warm up to the idea? And if you did... how long did it take? Lol.
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Starting to get annoyed with BF's non-bio SS9 & BM forcing him to come over.
So BM's son was raised by BF and always has come on visitation with SS3. SS9 also lived with us for a little bit during the summer, and he is the reason SS3 does not live with us any longer. He told a bunch of lies about us to Children's Aid and his mother, etc. You can read my old blogs for more details.
BM can't handle being a full time mom. She said so herself.
So as some as you may know, BM has a drug problem and lost custody of the kids during the summer. Once she went to detox and passed 6 weeks of drug testing she was granted custody back. Once the kids were back with her, she refused to let us seem them for probably a month or two, claiming that we were no good for them and we did all kinds of terrible things.
My boyfriend is such an asshole I just can't take it anymore..
He's been giving BM extra money ONTOP of CS because "he feels bad she's on welfare and has to live off $500 a month with 2 kids." Uhhh, then maybe she should get off her ass and get a job for the first time in 5 years?!?!
Meeting SS18 for the first time today.
It feels so awkward to put "SS18" considering I just found out about him a couple months ago. And he's only 3 years younger than me. I have no clue how this is going to go, how to act. Or how BF even acts around him - as a father? A friend? I have no clue how to act. This has awkward disaster written all over it, argh...
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SMs without BioKids - Is Christmas depressing?
For me it is. We did the whole set up the Christmas tree, decorate the house, make Christmas goodies crap and BF was just so happy and brimming all the while. Me? It just made me feel more left out than ever. I just don't feel like part of the family and seeing them all enjoy Christmas pushes me further and further away. I feel like I'm celebrating Christmas alone. So depressing...
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