So I finally had enough! And I told DH I want to talk exit strategy. Well, it's time, we don't have a home together, but we have a good sized savings and stocks. I negotiated for half of everything we have up to date and half of what the stocks are worth and what he can't pay now, he owes me and from here on forward, after bills, it's divided into our separate accounts up until I move. This ensures I have what I need to find a comfortable arrangement. I told him I will stay at my mom's when his crotch droppings are present but I will not be pushed out. Dh agreed and to my surprise even said if we do work things out, separate finances would be agreeable. We would deplete a good amount of course with divorce, moving etc but I think I'm at peace with the decision and would never have gotten the strength to fight for myself without this site. I don't have hope for my marriage but now I do have hope for me. It's sad because we genuinely have love for each, love doesn't fix everything, no matter how badly you want it to.