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I’m shattered.

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 8:13am

My mom passed away.

As some of you may know if you've followed my blogs, my mother has been very ill and I've been caregiving for her full-time since March.

This doesn't even feel real. My mind body and soul feel like mush. I don't know how to go on without her.

I want to share her obituary I wrote (altered names) to give even a glimpse into the kind of person she was because I need to keep her kindness and love alive. 

"T, a pillar of kindness and generosity, passed away on 11/17/24 leaving an indelible mark on the hearts of those who knew her.

Devoted wife to her beloved husband, B, who preceded her in death three years ago, T and B shared a profound love that continued to inspire her throughout her life.

T embodied compassion, always putting others before herself. Her unwavering dedication to helping others was evident in her countless acts of kindness, from baking casseroles, knitting gloves and slippers for homeless shelters and sending thoughtful cards to lending a helping hand with household tasks. Her charitable spirit extended to numerous foundations, supporting causes close to her heart, mostly to animal rescues. 

In her quiet moments, T found solace in preserving history, meticulously cleaning headstones in local cemeteries, ensuring the memories of others remained honored.

After a valiant fight against kidney cancer, T leaves an enduring legacy of love, kindness and resilience.

Her joys were simple yet profound: nurturing her loving dogs, feeding the birds and birdwatching from home, reading, knitting, tending to her lush garden and lovingly maintaining her historic home. You could often spot T on a scaffold scraping and painting her home in the summer time or walking her dogs downtown offering warm smiles to all and heartfelt conversations with locals. 

As we bid farewell to this extraordinary woman and send her back “home” to be with her loving husband B for eternity, we take comfort in the countless lives she touched. Her family invites friends and loved ones to share in celebrating T's life, love and unwavering generosity."

 

Aside from her good deeds listed in her obituary she did so much more. I can hardly keep track of the countless selfless acts she demonstrated everyday!

 

She would knit boxes of mittens and slippers for homeless shelters, she volunteered to run the blood drives for over 20 years and has donated over 20 gallons of blood herself. She cared for a disabled member of her community for over a decade, stocking his fridge, taking him to his appointments, running errands for him, etc. 

There is quite literally too many good needs to count when it comes to my mom.

it is now my life's mission to try to fill the shoes of this incredible person. I feel like I'm so damn far from the angel this woman was.

 

I am not okay. 

Comments

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 8:32am

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a truly exceptional woman and your grief is, clearly, immense. Your obituary is beautiful and depicts someone unique and an example to us all. May she rest in peace.

(((((HUGS)))))

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 8:45am

Thank you so much for your kind and heartfelt words. Words simply cannot describe the absolute angel on earth that she was. I have never known a life without my mom. We have always been so close. This is going to be such a different life for me moving forward.

I appreciate your kind words and support.

MorningMia's picture

Submitted by MorningMia on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 8:56am

She sounds like an amazing woman I (and everyone) would have loved! How blessed you were to have her as your mom! The obit is beautifully written. So very sorry for your loss! 

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 12:01pm

Thank you for the kind words and support. She was absolutely hands-down the best mother I could've ever asked for and dare I say the best mother in the world. I know other people probably think their mom is the best, but I would bet my life that mine is.

I will spend my entire life trying to live up to her goodness
 

 

Hastings's picture

Submitted by Hastings on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 9:12am

I'm so, so sorry. There's not much one can really say at times like this -- at least not much that's meaningful and not trite. She sounds like a beautiful person and you've paid her a beautiful tribute. May your memories be a comfort and a blessing.

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 9:18am

I feel like words don't even begin to scratch the surface when it comes to describing her. I was so incredibly blessed with a mom like her. I really do feel so lost without her.

Thank you for your kindness and love

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 10:00am

I'm so sorry. She sounds like an amazing woman and i know it was a privilege to care for her. 

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Mon, 12/02/2024 - 7:42am

I feel honored that I was able to take care of her and get the memories I will forever cherish for those last 9 months of her life.

I don't know how I'm going to carry on without her but I will have to find a way.

I was listening to the speech she gave when she won citizen of the year and she was talking about how her to sisters passed away at a young age and she said she learned something about that; "When the chain is broken, you just keep going." So I keep repeating that over and over in my mind.

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 10:38am

What a moving tribute to your lovely and amazing mom. My deepest sympathy for your loss, Rose_Pedal. {{{HUGS}}}

This was a comfort to me when my mom passed...

A Letter From Heaven

When tomorrow starts without me. And I’m not here to see. If the sun should rise and find your eyes, filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry. The way you did today. While thinking of the many things, We didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me. As much as I love you. And each time you think of me. I know you’ll miss me too.

When tomorrow starts without me. Don’t think we’re far apart. For every time you think of me. I’m right there in your heart.

~Alena Hakala Meadows

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Fri, 12/06/2024 - 7:13pm

Thank you so much for sharing. This is beautiful. I appreciate you and your kind words so much. 

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Fri, 12/06/2024 - 7:14pm

I know I may be biased but she was truly the greatest person on the planet! 
Thank you so much for the kind words 

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Fri, 12/06/2024 - 7:15pm

Thank you for your kindness and sympathy. I can't believe the world has lost such an incredible person.

CajunMom's picture

Submitted by CajunMom on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 4:45pm

Loosing our mom is never easy. What a beautiful obituary. May you be comforted in the days and weeks ahead.

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Fri, 12/06/2024 - 7:17pm

This is the hardest thing I've ever been through. She was such an incredible person. I just can't believe I have no parents or grandparents left. I'm only 31. Sad

Merrigan's picture

Submitted by Merrigan on Sat, 11/30/2024 - 9:18pm

You wrote a beautiful obituary. So sorry for your loss. My father is going to pass within the next few months of brain and bone cancer at 64. It's a hard thing for everyone. 

Rose_Pedal's picture

Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Fri, 12/06/2024 - 9:52pm

I'm so sorry! My dad passed of cancer that ended up spreading to his brain in 2021 and that was such a hard thing to watch.

Coincidentally, my mom's 64th birthday would have been today.

This is taking our parents so young.

I read today that Chuck Norris's mom died at 103 years old! I feel as though my mom got robbed of another 40 years. Sad

 

Sending you love this holiday season. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sun, 12/01/2024 - 3:24am

Is a blessing.  You are very lucky to have such a mother.  My mother passed 2 months ago.

 

SMto3's picture

Submitted by SMto3 on Sun, 12/01/2024 - 7:21am

The way you described your mom is so beautiful, she sounds like she was such a ray of light in this world. I am sorry for your loss. 
What helped me a little in my grieving process was when I first heard that grief is love inside out. That grieving someone is a measure of your love for them.

I am glad your mother graced this earth because she left you behind, and the way she lived was exemplatory. You are her legacy and it seems you take after her too. I know she would have loved your words about her. 

la_dulce_vida's picture

Submitted by la_dulce_vida on Sun, 12/01/2024 - 11:00am

Sending you hearfelt condolences on the loss of this lovely woman you called mom.

Just remember that you don't have to fill her shoes. You have shoes of your own to fill, but it's okay to use her example as a compass for the rest of your life.

Felicity0224's picture

Submitted by Felicity0224 on Sun, 12/01/2024 - 12:12pm

Her obituary moved me to tears. I am so, so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an incredible person. What a gift to have had her for a mother! Sending you thoughts and prayers for peace and comfort. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Mon, 12/02/2024 - 10:48am

She sounds wonderful. And you are wonderful for taking care of her, keeping her in your heart and proclaiming her goodness to the world.

((hugs))

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 12/07/2024 - 3:14am

Your love comes through so clearly and profoundly in your eloquent obituary.  You represent your mother so well as the caring person that raised a loving daughter.

((((Hugs))))

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