Skid and breastmilk
Hello all, I'm a lurker and I wanted to ask you a question. Would feed your skid (6 months) pumped breastmilk that his BM sends over...or would that be to gross for you too? Would it be wrong to dump it and formula feed?
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I would absolutely in no way
I would absolutely in no way dump out pumped breastmilk and feed someone else's infant formula. Formula feeding is fine, but breastfeeding has a ton of benefits to the child, and is no easy task for most moms.
Someone else's breastmilk wouldn't gross me out. I'd have no problem with it.
Of course my DH can (and
Of course my DH can (and will) feed the baby! Its just the thought of someone's breastmilk in my fridge grosses me out! Breastmilk in general grosses me out! :sick:
Excuse me for asking.. but I
Excuse me for asking.. but I had to. How come you have a 6 month old skid? Is it your BF or DH child?
Feed the kid with breastmilk. No matter how much it grosses you out, the baby should not suffer imho.
It's my BF but we're planning
It's my BF but we're planning on getting married next summer!
I find it ironic that I was
I find it ironic that I was in the opposite corner and frustrated that BM refused to breastfeed because it wasn't convenient for her. I was much more grossed out being forced to feed a baby a man-made mixture instead of the natural alternative.
Breast milk doesn't gross me
Breast milk doesn't gross me out at all, its completely natural. But as much as I am pro breast feeding, I'd probably hate having any of BM's bodily fliuds in my house too :sick:
Still, you MUST continue to give the baby the breast milk, the only person you'd be hurting if you threw it out is the baby. Breast milk and formula taste and smell completely different, breast milk is much sweeter and tastier than formula for babies so there is a chance that the baby wouldn't even take the formula right away and you'd be stuck. Also, the baby could have issues digesting formula. They are not as interchangeable as you'd think. There's a good chance the BM would find out that you've been tossing her breast milk and that could lead to a lot of problems for your DH and you. Don't confuse the poor kid because you have issues with it. Make DH feed the baby if you can't. Just don't throw it away.
That's exactly the reason why
That's exactly the reason why I asked...
I am sorry I am a tiny bit
I am sorry I am a tiny bit offended by this one lol. BF and I met when his youngest daughter was 7 months old, BM and her DH met when she was 5 months old. I see nothing wrong with it at all. BF and BM knew they weren't meant for each other and gave each other the opportunity to find another partner. You can't help when you meet someone you want to be with.
I hate to be harsh but I'm
I hate to be harsh but I'm gonna be.
Your dating a man with a 6 month old child? How long have you been with him?
Your grossed out by an infants food and thinking of throwing it out or substituting something else? How old are you and don't you think it's a little immature?
What difference is it if its formula or breastmilk? Your not drinking it I hope?
This is NOT your child and you do not have the right to make a decision of what a child gets for nourishment at this age.
Grow UP or get another guy!!!! If this is his kid it'll be with him for the rest of his life.
While you may expect some input in things, which I agree Step moms should be able to do THIS is not one of the things you get to imput on.
wow - all I can say is wow As
wow - all I can say is wow
As a new mom - 3.5 month old - whose milk didn't come in again and was unable to breastfeed her own child - I would be absolutley livid, if the SM threw it away because it grossed her out. What that child receives as nurishment is not your decision. She can provide for her child and I don't care what your deal is - she's making a decision that is right for her and their child.
I'm not going to question why you are with someone who has a 6 month old - there are plenty of folks on her whose skids are a result of a 1 nighter or a short lived relationship - but if you're not comfortable with breastmilk then let the dad feed the baby.
I'm not usually one to be
I'm not usually one to be outright nasty around here but you are a sick person if you throw away that child's milk!It is NOT your call whether or not this baby gets breast milk.If you can't handle being with a man with a baby then find another man.
Damn.It's women like you who give other sm's a bad rep.Throw away a mother's breastmilk just because it grosses you out??now i've heard everything.If i were the bm in your situation i wouldn't even allow my child to be alone with you.I'd keep the child with me so I could breastfeed all day long if i wanted to without risking some immature girl throwing away the best form of nutrition i can give my child.
sorry everyone.this topic just lit me up this morning.
lit me up too.
lit me up too.
This pissed me off too, but I
This pissed me off too, but I checked the profile and I am suspicious that it's a troll. New member, just joined out of the blue and posted this as their first blog. Seems like baiting. Probably from some BM loving PASing website.
Why would BM even give a 6
Why would BM even give a 6 month old away from her? That's what im wondering about...
she might have to.who knows
she might have to.who knows what some of these airhead judges decide when custody cases get to court.or she might be doing it so the dad can bond with his baby.6months is a young age to be separated from either of your parents and it's such an important bonding period.breastfeeding doesn't make bm an angel but at least she's trying to do something healthy for her baby.
I have never heard of 6 month
I have never heard of 6 month old going for the visits without the mother, thats why im asking. If it was me, there is no judge in the world who would make me give up my 6month old baby which i breastfeed to anyone, without me being present there. But thats maybe just me.
i can't see that i would do
i can't see that i would do that either.i think i would rather have dad hang out at my house with the baby while I took a nap or something rather than sending the baby to his place.i don't know much about how the court handles babies i would hope they would understand how wrong it is to separate mom from baby and hand baby over to an obviously wicked stepmom.or maybe they watch the baby while bm works?that would be the only other thing i can think of because our little troll didn't add more information to tell us what the deal is.
I agree with what you guys
I agree with what you guys are saying about the breast milk, but a judge will award visitation to a non-custodial parent of an infant, and it would most probably not be visitation done at the mother's home. The father has rights to visitation, and since breast milk can be pumped and given in a bottle, it is usually not a valid argument in court for denying visitation to the other parent.
my sister and her dh split up
my sister and her dh split up when she was 6 months pregnant. at 3 weeks old she would let the Father take the baby for the day. at about 2 months old he was taking the baby over nights 2 nights a week. the Mother breastfeed. and their were plenty of bottles too.
I see nothing wrong with allowing the Father to bond with the baby. the baby needs the Father too. the child is 1 yearS old now. stays over the Father's 3 nights a week has been since 6 months old. that baby is close to both Mother and Father.
these two people are the "perfect" divorced parents.
I agree the baby should bond
I agree the baby should bond with both parents.i think it's good bm is sharing the baby with dad.but the girlfriend has to go if she can't get on board with supporting the BM's efforts breastfeed this child.she doesn't have to support bm in everything but this is such a huge thing to try and be deceitful about.i bet gf would be out on her behind if bf knew she was planning on tossing the breastmilk.
Another thought. If the GF
Another thought. If the GF throws out the breastmilk I'm sure she'll be complaining about the cost of formula. The GF has issues and needs to go. Anyone who would deprive an infant of food is one sick person
*LIKE*
*LIKE*
The baby needs the
The baby needs the breastmilk. If you can't give it to him, you should let Dad do so. The biomom sounds like she's trying to help her child by giving him breastmilk and that's a good thing.
A dude's perspective .... if
A dude's perspective .... if I am allowed to have one since I have ZERO experience on either side of the breast feeding experience. I don't have them (though I am a devoted fan) and I have not had a bio kid to have been there when the breast feeding phase was active.
I would not recommend that you throw it out. I would have dad feed the baby if it bothers you. If having it in your fridge is a problem, which I can understand why it would be for you, have dad buy a small one for $100.00 from Sam's and make that the breast milk fridge.
Not sure why I feel this way but I would be hard pressed to have an Xs breast milk in my house if I was in your BFs situation but I think I could suck it up (no pun intended) and do the right thing for my child.
This has nothing to do with the adults in the situation and really is just about the kid. A 6mo old has not had the opportunity to be influenced by either parent beyond basic care and affection. All of the adults, Bios and Steps, should be focused on what is best for the baby.
This may be the only BlendedFamily situation I have ever heard of that has a great chance of being healthy for the child with both sides of the equation being aligned in parenting from the very beginning if the adults are capable of truly acting as adults.
IMDudeHO of course.
Well put, Rags. I would have
Well put, Rags.
I would have a problem with someone else's bodily fluids lurking in my fridge, too. Heck, I was antsy about my own hanging out there by the salami. I like the small fridge idea, or maybe DH could purchase one of those collapsible coolers and keep the milk in there while its in the fridge...sort of out of sight out of mind.
Have DH do the feedings, I can see how that would be uncomfortable, as well.
Either way, don't throw it out. The way a parent chooses to feed their infant is VERY important and should be adhered to by everyone invloved in baby's care.
Just a thought...
I must say as a mom that it
I must say as a mom that it would be nearly impossible for me to even let my newborn leave my home during this precious phase much less send my baby and milk over to someone who wished to throw it out.
That's just "me" though. If possible, dad could come visit our baby. It just seems too young to be passing back and forth. Not "natural", if you will.
Agreed on both 1 & 2. #2
Agreed on both 1 & 2. #2 expecially when the BioDad is interested and participatory.