Well,

The last time I posted on here, things weren't all that great. In almost every realm of  DH & SD12. 

Well, now that DD is here....my life has....well, COMPLETELY CHANGED.

SD12 & I are....closer? I am giving her chances I never wanted too before. If I catch her in a lie, sneaking food, or not cleaning up after herself...I calmly ask her, "Hey. Whats up with that?" 

SD12 is an absolutely amazing sister. She WANTS to feed her baby sister, she WANTS to clean dirty diapers, she WANTS to console her sister when she is crying. She is stepping up to the plate without DH or I even asking her to do it.

We DID successfully have our family photos, and....it went great. Our family photo would have looked bare without SD being there.

When it came to Christmas shopping, I elected to purchase a lot for SD. Her BM continues to neglect her in everyday life (SD lives with BM full time) so I bought a ton of clothes (that will actualyl fit her), and some things she desired too. (She is not a greedy kid, so she would be happy with anything TBH). But....my whole attitude has changed.

Recently found out BM has cancer and my DH is well...happy to say the least. (BM has made his life a living hell in which if she passed away from cancer he states, "I get my daughter full time, I don't have to pay her thieving mother anymore, and I get to save my child from an unfit living situation".) I never wish death on any person so I told him to leave me out of that conversation....But if BM did pass away from this....I would be actually be at peace (finally) about her being with us full time. I feel like I am more so there now, than I ever was in the past. I truly do hope BM can recover and live a full life with her children, but nobody else would miss her. She is worthless member to society. ANYWAY. STEERING AWAY FROM THAT CONVERSATION....

SD is safe with us. Happier with us. And....enjoys her life when she is with us. She is, "Tired of my mom's bullshit & can see through everything she has ever done. She is a selfish human being." 

Since she is 12 now, she is wanting to live with us full time, but BM tells SD that she will kill herself if SD moves in with us full time. (Yes. BM is severely mentally unstable & said this to SD's face.) Sounds like a threat to me. Anyway, we told SD that we do not talk about BM in our house at all. It brings us bad tastes in everyone's mouths, DH and I get into arguments, etc. BM's name is forbbiden here.)

SD12 is starting to open up talking to me about her weight & how kids at school constantly make fun of her & how she is trying to 'slow down' and eat less. But I feel like that is conversation I have to leave between her, her counselor, and her doctor. I have my own concerns about how non-active she is, and I have told her I would be more than happy to put her in a sport, but it doesn't go much further than that. So I just tell her to keep working on herself & to keep her head up. Being a pre-teen is tough, and kids are not nice. But we will get through it.

So all in all. Life is better. Life is healthy (for the most part). Now we just have to succesfully allow SD12 to live the life she wants instead of having to clean up after her BM's detrimental life choices.