Kid activities and parent investment
I was widowed so my kids live with me and my new husband all the time. His kids are with us half the time. I seem to still manage to go to many more of his kids activities, Drive then a lot of times, and watch more of their sports. He seems in my mind to prioritize his time and what his kids are doing much above me and my kids. It causes a lot of fights because I just want my kids to feel like they have a dad.
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I know it's hard that your
I know it's hard that your kids don't have a dad, and your DH is their only father figure, but you still can't expect him to be more of a dad to your kids than his. That's just life, and it sucks, but you have to be realistic. He's going to put his kids first, and you need to put yours first. Stop going to more things for his kids than your own. And don't expect him to be a replacement dad. He's your husband, and his involvement as a dad to your kids has to be on his terms, not yours.
Yep I totally understand
Yep I totally understand what you’re saying. I would never expect him to chose something of my kids over his and vice versa. I guess I was writing more of times when even when he has nothing going on he most often chooses not to come watch. But you are right. I should just not go to as many of his kids activities. But I truly enjoy them and watching them. He is an amazing father and that is one of the reasons why I married him. And he most definitely says he wants to be a replacement dad. But yes, it is on his terms.
As you know, you can't force
As you know, you can't force him to do or be anything and if he goes to your kids events out of obligation and not desire, then it just may add unnecessary stress anyway. Go with other parents of your kids friends, have a blast! I bet the more you enjoy it, the more he will want to hang with you and will end up going. You didn't say how long you have been married but I expect you still have many more years for him to rise to the occasion. What would he say if one of your kids asked him to go? Let the kids hold some responsibility for developing a relationship with him.