Just for me!
I went to a Co-Dependent's Anonymous (CoDA) meeting last night. The meetings are few and far between in my region, so I had to drive a very long way. It was so awesome to be out and doing something JUST FOR ME! I truly enjoyed traveling so far.
Have had a bit of a "light bulb" moment recently. In my 51 years of life, I've never enjoyed a "romantic" relationship that didn't include the same or similar pains and problems as those in my relationship with the bf that I've complained about here. That's why I raised my two daughters (by different fathers) alone, and that's why all of my major relationships have ended. I don't know how to process my realization other than it is what it is and I desire to grow beyond it and enjoy healthy, functional relationships with the man (and everyone else) in my life. Who that man will be? No idea.
What I do know as far as the man who has been in my life is that he didn't do this to me. Anything that has happened to me, I opened the door for 'it' to happen. That's not to say he's anything near resembling a healthy, functional person, but that's not my responsibility or problem. I am my responsibility and I'm done making that a problem. My job is to love and care for me.
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I bet you'd enjoy CoDA, SA.
I bet you'd enjoy CoDA, SA. They have a web site and you can search for meetings from it - http://www.coda.org/index.php
I wound up at a "mixed" (male and female) meeting because I couldn't reach the earlier women's meeting in time. That actually was the best, I think. I'm too new to be able to summarize my experience well as I don't want to violate confidentiality or such, but I guess it's safe to say from the experiences shared, the men there could have easily been any man/bf/dh that are complained about here, even my own bf. I think we all have a desire to grow and know better. Some do eventually answer that call in their hearts to find their wings and grab hold of tools like CoDA!
I think it's ok to have hope and faith that bf will eventually have to answer his longing to grow and know a better life, but it's not my job to make it happen or tell him how to do it. I have my own wings to preen.
I was very lucky to have felt
I was very lucky to have felt so at home and right at my first meeting, vickmeister, tho they say to go to at least six meetings before deciding if you want to continue with CoDA.
Tonight I'm going to a meeting at a location closer to me, so I hope it's good too. No biggie if not. Hopefully they'll at least have some of the printed materials for sale like yesterday's meeting so I can the steps and maybe do a little work on them.
I'm enjoying more than anything having something to do that is "just for me."
That is so wonderful for you.
That is so wonderful for you. I recently read co-dependent no more. I started working on myself as well. its so hard, but its worth it.
I have horrible habits of constantly trying to predict and control SO's behaviors and moods. I've really had to learn to let go.
I hope you keep up the you time.