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How do I keep from blowing up?

RedWingsFan's picture

I get off work in an hour. DH is over at his grandparent's watching the LSU/AR game. We're supposed to go over to his dad's tonight for dinner and cards with dad and dad's girlfriend.

I don't want to talk about SD and her poor treatment and blatant disregard for DH's feelings because I know DH already feels badly enough and nothing I say will make it better. I'm afraid I'm gonna blow up when I see him though, or at his dad's because I know he's going to bring it up.

Everyone knows I don't hold my tongue easily and I speak my mind, freely and without abandon. I don't believe in sugarcoating anything and I tell it like I see it. SD is a selfish, entitled bitch and I'm over her hurting DH and frankly I want to scream it to everyone I see right now!

How on earth do I bite my tongue when DH brings this up to his dad tonight? How do I keep my big mouth shut and my opinions and feelings to myself? Especially if I get a few beers in me?????

FUCK! I'm thinking of just staying the fuck home!

Comments

red flags's picture

I know how hard it can be to keep your cool in these situations, but just tell yourself that losing it would only hurt DH more and the goal is for him not to be hurt. If his dad brings it up and asks why SD is so shitty to DH, suggest that he call SD and ask her himself (don't know how old she is). How the fuck would you know anyway?

RedWingsFan's picture

She's 14 but very immature and entitled.

His dad won't bring it up because he won't have known anything but I KNOW DH will bring it up for 2 reasons: 1. he wants his dad to know his granddaughter is being horrible again and 2. because he'll want his dad's advice.

Maybe I'll just ask DH to talk to his dad about Stepdevil in private before or after dinner so I don't explode.

red flags's picture

Yeah, that or when he starts going into it, excuse yourself and go for a walk or leave the room. Maybe bring a book or iPad or some other distraction. If he asks why you're leaving the conversation, tell him that you want to give him the space to ask his dad for advice without feeling like you have to weigh in. Everyone wins. And you come off looking like the good guy, instead of everyone seeing you sweat. Who knows, maybe his day's girlfriend will follow your lead and you can hang with her while he vents his frustration. It sucks when events and holidays get dominated by skid drama, but its par for the course

RedWingsFan's picture

It went better than expected but I kinda did say something when his dad said "well, it's the AGE - they're all selfish at that age". I said it was no excuse, as my daughter makes an effort all the way from Michigan and she's the same age as Stepdevil is.

So, all in all, it was fine. We enjoyed a nice evening and didn't bring her up again for the rest of the time we were there. DH did say he's not putting forth any more effort, is not going to call or text her or pick her up Tuesday nights for dinner. I told him she'd likely not care till right before Christmas Eve when he's supposed to give her gifts. He said, "unless she makes a HUGE effort between now and then, she's not getting a damn thing from me and I'll be busy doing other things on Christmas Eve"