Most of the negative aspects of skids is DH and BM's fault. There are NEVER any consequences for their actions ever. I'm so sick of hearing DH say "girls be quiet" "girls you don't have to be so loud" etc etc ad naseum a thousand times a day. I'm sick of biting my lips and having to force myself not to get up and go jerk their asses up and stand them in a corner for never ever listening. And really why would they? They know all DH will ever do is repeat himself constantly, because that's all he does. Weekends we have them are like living in a construction zone with the constant banging noises from them throwing stuff in the huge pile of crap in their room and hitting the wall, or the sounds of them jumping on the bed. Or wrestling around. Or one screaming at the other to stop whatever it is she's doing to torment the other. I'm sick of setting a rule for ALL the kids, my bios included, then watching DH let his blatantly break them. Like last night. The rule is supposed to be that none of the kids are allowed to eat in our room (yes mine and DH's bedroom). But since he decided they could watch tv in there, then they were also allowed to eat dinner in there too. Guess I should just be grateful he made them sit on the floor at least. So why should they listen to me either when DH never supports me when it comes to the rules?

DH and BM are both shitty parents. DH is a disney dad with his head in the sand with a guilt complex because he divorced their mother. And he's not doing skids any favors with the crappy way he parents.

Negative: After living with us for 5 years, SS21 didn't say Happy Mother's Day to me. It was the ultimate fuck you and at that moment, all love I felt for him was gone. POOF, in an instant. SD13 pulls power plays with me & DH just laps them up like a dog in heat. It has grown quite tiresome.

Positive: Watching SS21 graduate HS after being truant for 2 years was a real emotional moment for me. When the Valedictorian was making his speech, he mentioned how many hours of HW they had in the last 4 years. SS found me in the bleachers, made eye contact with me and we both laughed. It was a running joke that he always said he didn't have any HW.

Negative w/Bios: Knowing your child's full potential and them falling short of what you know they can achieve is a tough pill to swallow.

Positive w/Bios: Seeing them pick themselves up after tripping multiple times and working harder to be productive members of society. It makes me very proud to see my sons growing up into responsible adults. Despite taking the harder path, they have managed to turn things around and that is always a positive.

1. On SD's 18th birthday, I organized a little family dinner with MIL, FIL, SD, DH and myself. SD showed up and gave attitude to DH, so he told her he was taking her (HIS) car away for two weeks. She flipped out, they both grappled for the keys, then she bit him on the arm, drew blood, then called the police on HIM. Only an animal would do that to their father! I wanted to tell her that if she had handed over her keys to begin with, then had a calm conversation, I guarantee she would have kept the car. Unbelievable.

At 19 during DH and BM's court battle, SD19 texted ME to sell MY car (that I bought when I graduated from college) so that she can keep her car because I owe her (she knew her parents were arguing over money). I never responded. The nerve of that kid to think I owe her ANYTHING! Oh, and she used profanity in the text which more than draws the line for me.

2. She doesn't appear jealous of DH's and my bios. She doesn't see them much, but when she does, she is decent with them, which I never thought possible.

3. My bios are too young to have any negatives with.

4. I cherish every moment with my bios. They are only 2 and 1, so I try to appreciate every moment of young cuteness. I'm head over heels in love!

Negatives with skid: Just about everything. But it isn't SS7's fault. It's DH and BM. They have no clue about parenting (keep in mind she has three children that are all going to go to juvie hall) and they don't even try to educate themselves. That child is a mess because of his parents and that pretty much sums it up.

Negative with bios: I second what Unfreakingreal stated: watching your child not live up to their potential. I went through this a lot with BS20. He has ADHD, is a follower and not a leader and has struggled for years.

Positives with bios: Second Unfreakingreal again: watching them become a productive member of society. My oldest moved 2 hours away, has a job, an apartment, and is getting ready to enroll in college. He doesn't ask for money to pay his bills and is doing great on his own. My youngest, BS14 has survived open heart surgery better than most people three times his age. He always has a kind word and a smile. I truly enjoy my boys!

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