When enough is enough......
I am going tom start this with a positive twist...Thanks everyone for everyone for the great input in the past!!!
But, after reading some of the topics latley, I am very disapointed at some of the bickering and fighting that's been going on. My life as a stepmom has NOT been the greatest by any means, but, I do try to manage a degree of "civility" with my SD, 24. Lately, I have found that actually TALKING with her, and TRYING has helpend immensly. I see more and more here that all people want to do is trash their skids and BM's-really not too much advice being given (yes, I am not stupid-this is a venting site..I'm very much all for it!!!) But, really, how about not so much picking apart, and maybe trying to be a good person? It takes a better person by far to "take the high road", but it also shows everyone involved how to be a better person.
I thank from the bottom of my heart all the "old-timers" here(almitchell, Shannon, Maux, Foxie, especially Sourgirl and the rest..)for all the great support. Without you guys, I doubt that I could have handled some of the things I've gone through; But, QUIT THE WHINING!!! Lead by example!!! Talk with your DH's or SO's either one on one, or with a counsler-or try the old way-got to church! Or get your partner to get on the right page with you and actually DISCIPLINE your kids!! Spanking is harsh, but it gets attention!!
So, I'm done here. I'll muddle thru my problems by myself, and with DH-I know it's not easy, but I have faith in my relationship with DH, and communication is the greatest asset we have as human beings. Also, prayer helps alot, too....
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Comments
I know for me the venting has
I know for me the venting has helped immensely! Its nice to get all the junk out there even if no one reads it you are getting it out not holding it in. Is made me a much better/more patient SM. So yeah my posts come off b*tchy or whining but then I can turn around and know I'm not the only one to deal with this situation and I know I can survive it and have my cyber support system waiting with non-judgmental ears when up feel like I'm going to snap.
New poster but
The venting has a purpose. It lets you get validation that your feelings, your emotions, your self has worth. I would guess for a lot of posters they do not receive that in real life. The push is for step parents to put themselves and their needs below that of the previous family. That's an enormously damaging cultural concept.
please note I did not suggest that posters put themselves above ensuring the safety and appropriate caretaking of any child; I said they are pushed to place themselves below the emotional (and financial) needs of the original family, which is SO, BM, MIL, etc. Step parenting is a still confusing construct. I've been doing it twenty years, I'm very comfortable with where we now are - stepsons are in frequent loving contact with their father, I am referred to respectfully as their father's wife. But it took a lot of pain to get to that point. And I vented to my own family a lot so I could then approach the situation with DH from a position of knowing I had worth and my concerns were valid. So if people need to vent anonymously and get that validation, I think that's okay.
Thos OP is old so idk what
Thos OP is old so idk what they are referring to as far as bickering. Maybe the site was different in 2011? I do agree that the venting has a purpose. Sometimes people just need to be told that their feelings are normal. Also, if you vent too much to the people in your everyday life, what you say could be repeated to the wrong people and cause drama. Better to get it out anonymously to people who have been there.