Dh, you are NOT the father!!!!
Hi guys. I'm a long time reader but I've never posted before. I have the ss from hell. He is mean to my kids, he smells, has no manners and above all is just very un likeable and he is ugly. His nose is to small for his face and his yellow teeth stick out. He is just ugh! *shivers from disgust*. This demon just turned 10 and for his birthday my mother in law got him a map that scratched off the silver from countries and leaves color countries behind and one of those ancestry dna tests. She does this with everyone and loves to map people origins out. It's her thing. She even mapped my parents for their birthdays. Anyway a week ago dh gets the email saying his results are in and he calls mil to come over. Mil and ss sit at the computer with their map and start looking at the results. Mil was so excited and then quiet. Nothing. I thought it was weird and I kept peeking in thinking mil was ill or something because this is her crack. They finished ss's map and he goes to show dh and wants to compare it with dhs map (did I mention we all have a map?) and they are from different parts of the world!!!! Dh goes to ask mil what was going on and mil was gone! She ran as soon as our backs were turned. Dh sent ss out to play and we look through ss and dhs profiles and its obvious he isn't ss's dad. I wanted to feel bad for dh but mostly I felt undeniable joy and relief that dh didn't spawn this evil creature. Dh called bm and I could hear him yelling and screaming at her. I sat my happy self down and rewrote the rules for our household and dealing with bm. Ss will continue to be welcome in our home as dh sees himself as his dad as long as he can behave himself. Kids misbehave so I am talking about ss bullying and being mean to mine and dhs real kids. We are not going to pay for anything else. If we are forced to pay child support then dh is going to sue bm for fraud and deception and what ever else he can. I'm going to make it national news to be sure everyone knows what a lying whore bm is. We will no longer be quilted into getting ss on bms time or feel that he must be on every fun adventure with us. Dh agreed with all of my points and he let bm know. He pays child support directly to her so he is going to see an attorney to see what he needs to do to stop it. We had ss for fathers day and I didn't mind him as much, i guess knowing he isn't ss's dad and dh didn't make that thing makes him easier to deal with. Bm got our demand letter on Monday and she must be freaking out so bad now. I can not wait till the next time she asks for something just to be able to say no.
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How exactly does a DNA map
How exactly does a DNA map determine genetics? Is it the same as a DNA test with all 3 subjects saliva or DNA to compare?
It shows what part of the
It shows what part of the world that person is from. Ss should be from the same parts as dh and people related to him. Dh has scheduled a dna test but bm admitted ss wasn't his when dh confronted her and said she thought he was the father.
So she did admit that the boy
So she did admit that the boy isn't his??? Holy crap. You owe your MIL big time. Wow.
That's not funny, no one
That's not funny, no one wants to owe their MIL
Lol a very valid point
Lol a very valid point
Rather do the full DNA test
Rather do the full DNA test with both DH and SS's samples. A BM's admission means little in a court.
We have an appointment
We have an appointment already scheduled then dinner to celebrate!!
Why would your husband be
Why would your husband be celebrating that a child he raised for 10 years and thought was his son isn't?
I'm in the mood to RIP some
I'm in the mood to RIP some new a-holes...
Fruity, I want you to
Fruity, I want you to critique my ripping style...
Bm sucks the life out of him
Bm sucks the life out of him with all her demands and his money. He won't be celebrating the loss of his child just not having to deal with bm anymore. He will still see ss. Bm is all about appearances and looking good to her pastor so she will want dh to still be daddy to ss we just won't have to deal with her crap.
Ramblin, don't think that
Ramblin, don't think that your husband will no longer have to deal with BM's 'crap'.
BM is the child's MOTHER. She has 100% control over what she will allow if your DH is NOT the father. She may decide that he can no longer have any contact with the boy.
And if BM DOES allow your DH to continue in a parental role, I certainly hope it is with the stipulation that YOU, Ramblin, cannot be within 5 miles of the boy.
I pray to God you are not a real person. You sicken me.
First thing I did Monday
First thing I did Monday morning was make an appointment for dh to take him in and get tested. Bm admitted to dh he wasn't the father when dh called her out.
She figured out ss wasn't dhs
She figured out ss wasn't dhs kid when they started mapping out where ss was from. Half of him would be from where bm is and the other half from where dh is. It'll be a little off due to genes and what passed down but it shouldn't have been that off unless dh wasn't the father. Bm is a church going bible thumper who explains ss as her once in a life time indiscretion. No of us, even me, would have thought he wasn't dhs.
SS hasn't heard the fuss and
SS hasn't heard the fuss and dh hasn't decided if he will tell ss now or when he is older. Dh agrees he needs to know his medical background from his real family. We have a dna test scheduled and bm admitted ss doesn't belong to dh. I don't know about owning our dna. I'll look.
I'm with you. I'm curious,
I'm with you. I'm curious, but can't get past the "big brother/1984" heeby jeebies.
Ancestry is based on Provo
Ancestry is based on Provo but not owned by the LDS Church. The LDS Church operates the site Familysearch.org and their massive genealogy library. People added to Ancestry's database are not baptized into the Mormon church.
Ancestry DNA does provide some information to the police to provide information about suspects' possible ethnicity (skin color) and some unidentified murder victims' DNA has been added to their database to help find next of kin. It's possible murder suspects could also have been added. But the chain-of-custody of DNA submitted makes it not admissible in court.
You might want to be very
You might want to be very careful before you start making accusations! There have been many reviews showing these ancestors test are not accurate. There was a news story recently with identical triplets did one of these and came back with different ancestry roots for each of the three. Which would be impossible for identical triplets. Get a paternity test before your ruin your relationship with your husband.
Bm admitted to dh that ss
Bm admitted to dh that ss wasn't his. We have a dna test scheduled and will test him no matter what. How is this going to ruin our relationship? SS is still welcomed over and I will back dh in whatever decisions he makes except paying child support. That whore can get it from his real dad.
Interesting.... has there
Interesting.... has there been cases of some crazy lady randomly listing some man as the father and the father being held accountable for CS even if a DNA test proves he's not?
I meant more... woman knows a
I meant more... woman knows a man who makes a ton of money... they never even sleep together... she lists the kid as the father... tries to go after him for CS... and he has to pay it... even if he is definitely not the father...because he is listed on the BC?
oh, duh... totally flaked on
oh, duh... totally flaked on that part.
The way our courts work a BM
The way our courts work a BM can file CS on anyone. They don't have to be the listed on the BC. If the man doesn't show up for court they automatically determine him to be the father and start CS proceedings.
Hopefully not!
Hopefully not!
Exactly this! A legal father
Exactly this!
A legal father is still responsible for the child, at least here in Canada. The courts do what they believe is best for the child, not the parents.
My SO would be devastated if he ever found out a child wasn't actually his. He wouldn't be celebrating it!
I feel for this boy, if in fact this story is true. Kids are out for Summer. There will be more elaborate posts.
I'm so glad this post is a
I'm so glad this post is a troll! Been a member for less then an hour and post full of hate! :?
This is why I hesitated to
This is why I hesitated to post. Every new person gets called a troll. Well, whatever. I'm doing my happy dance and celebrating.
You and your husbands glee is
You and your husbands glee is what makes you a troll. I can't imagine a man going out for a celebration dinner when he finds out the child he has raised and loved is not his! There is a very good chance my DH is not OSD's father. Everyone in the family knows this, BM admitted it before she OD'd and died. Dh refuses to ever take a DNA test. He gladly paid child support, dealt with BM, and her family after BM died. OSD is his no mater what biology says. No matter how much crap OSD has put us through, no matter what crap BM's family puts us through, and no matter how much money we have spent on child support OSD is my husband's child. He would be heartbroken if a DNA test was ever done.
His glee is not having to
His glee is not having to deal with bm anymore. I don't have to justify why I am happy.
He won't have to bow down to
He won't have to bow down to her demands anymore.
You could just go on 'The
You could just go on 'The Maury Show'. They will do a DNA test for you and you can put your business out there nationally, like you want. Two birds, one stone, very efficient.
She can fight the BM. In a
She can fight the BM. In a mini-skirt.
Well, maybe the kid is lucky.
Well, maybe the kid is lucky. My kid pretty much looks like Howdy Doody right now with his giant new front teeth, but my dh doesn't love him any less. And if he isn't the OP's skid at least he won't have to deal with her because she seems like a terrible person. Enjoy your day.
That's what I was thinking!
That's what I was thinking! Especially after she referred to him as "that thing" :jawdrop:
Omg I know. What a witch.
Omg I know. What a witch.
I've been getting into DNA
I've been getting into DNA genealogy and I want to caution anyone who is making paternity estimates based on ethnicity reports. This is inconsistent science. The difference between one region and other on a test like Ancestry DNA, 23 & Me or FTDNA is very small. Genes can recombine in a way that they look like another region entirely. AncestryDNA had changed algorithms and doesn't update the results for people who tested before.
If you did have an Ancestry DNA test, then the DNA matches would show your DH and his son. At the range of father-son there's no way Ancestry will mess that up. If both of them have tested and don't show as DNA matches then something's wrong.
Ancestry's ethnicity algorithm is completely pseudo-science and please ignore any ethnicity estimates like that. I can go on a very long explanation if you need more details, but it's very common for kids and parents to not match or kids to have large percentages of regions neither parents do.
In Texas a woman was 8
In Texas a woman was 8 months pregnant and was in a horrific car crash that killed her and her two parents. Doctors were able to save her baby who was a month premature. She has been estranged but not divorced to her four year's father. So the biological father is having a hard time getting his baby released to him and the baby doesn't even have a name right now. She's listed as Baby Girl November. The best they could do was have the 4 year old's father give the fiancé of the deceased mother power of attorney. He's hoping that will allow him to take the baby home from the hospital.
Point is being married to someone when a child is born makes the child legally that of the husband.
http://www.fox4news.com/news/262791169-story
Thank you for number 4.
Thank you for number 4.
Don't celebrate too much. You
Don't celebrate too much. You might be happy but your DH has been this boy's dad for as long as he can remember and that one change. Sure, I'd be thrilled if I found out I didn't "have" to deal with BM anymore and there was was actually tangible proof she was horrible person that without a doubt no one could defend for lieing to your DH for all these years BUT don't project on to the kid. He sounds like a prepubescent kid and yeah now you don't "have" to welcome him in your home but reality is you never had to do that but you did it for your husband. Well your husband is going to expect you to keep letting this kid come and your frustration towards him for loving a kid that's not even his is going to trump all of this excitement.
He is ugly. Wow. How mature
He is ugly. Wow. How mature of you to harbor dislike for someone based on looks. The child can outgrow his looks. Your inner ugliness is abhorrent.
Fruity, in this case, I'm
Fruity, in this case, I'm thinking ugly has penetrated the bone to the core.
PigPen is not my DH's biological son, but HE IS DH'S SON. DH loves PigPen as much as he loves his other children.
a twist on what Judge Judy
a twist on what Judge Judy says - "beauty fades, but asshole is forever."
At least looks are fixable...
At least looks are fixable...
Thanks, advice. I needed
Thanks, advice. I needed that!
Cocktail, look how handsome
Cocktail, look how handsome "Neville Longbottom" is now since his first Harry Potter appearance.
Guppies, that is how DH is
Guppies, that is how DH is with PP14. PP is NOT DH's biological son. But DH raised him and loves him just as much as his other children. Someone else planted the seed, but DH has nurtured this boy for 14+ years. PigPen IS DH's son; sperm donor be damned.
Your local child support
Your local child support office can also do paternity testing. In my state, they use q-tip style swab of the inside of the cheek, so just a quick, "Open Mouth, Swab Sample" & send to their contracted lab.
I did not read all the
I did not read all the comments, but you are living in a dream,
DH's name is on the birth certificate, he's been the child's father for 10 years, nothing is going to change, you do not need to be the sperm donor to be the father. If you think DH will start ignoring this boy suddenly, you are mistaken. DH might start coddling him more...
Courts will not care if BM lied to DH or not, again his name is on the birth certificate, they will not cancel CS,
You are going to waste money in courts and bankrupt yourself and DH will still have to pay CS for this kid...