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Cold Shoulder

Rainman17's picture

:jawdrop: I went to a step Grand child family function recently. I got the cold shoulder from one of my step kids. Not sure how to deal with it.
I have been with my DH for 23 years. He has 6 kids from his first marriage. They live 3 hours away from us. All of his kids are grown and have families of there own. There has been alot of unresolved issues over the past years involving the DH and his kids.My DH wants me to feel the same as he does about his kids. But I don't and never will.So, whenever these family things arise I try to avoid them as much as possible. I went to this one because it was a Grand child. I have tried to tell my husband my feelings about these issues in the past but he does not understand my feelings.He wants something out of me that I will never be able to give. I will never be able to love his kids the same way as he does. The feelings that I have about his grown kids make me feel like a Monster.But, I know that I am a good person.And I do have a big heart.
My question is. When you are given the cold shoulder by someone do you keep going back for more or do you stay away form the situation?

Comments

still learning's picture

***You may get more response if you copy this to the Adult step forum.

With my own adult step situation, I don't share my "feelings" about skids with DH unless they're positive. Otherwise I deal with the bare bone facts of the issue and leave it at that.

Last night DH and I were out with some friends at a public event, he had invited ss30 and his gf too. The gf came up to me, made small chat and gave me a hug. ss30 scowled, started at and ignored me all night. I didn't try to deice ss or go over and converse with him. Just left him on his own. Funny thing was that this was noticed by one of our friends who commented how rude he was to me. That lady just happens to be a SM herself. ss only made himself look like an ass by acting like a 2 yr old baby in public.

I would like to get along with ss and have tried for years, but it really gets old getting the same response over and over. Generally I try to go where it's good for my mental health, but obviously I can't control where ss is going to pop up. When he is in the same space with me I am always "on." Meaning that I know everyone is watching how I deal with him. I am kind and open but don't make the same effort with him that I used to.

notasm3's picture

If there is someone who treats me rotten I remove that person from my life as much as possible. Civil and polite when I must be around them. Not more. No less.

Why are some people so ?$#%*} stupid that they demand that everyone love their crotch droppings?

There are many children and adults in this world that I adore. Any many that I cannot tolerate.