Sad call from one of my employees.
My cell phone went crazy this morning at ~1AM. It was one of my employees. He was bouncing off of the walls and called to tell me that he would not be at work today because he had to deal with some personal business.
I told him fine, and thanked him for calling and that I was heading back to bed. He went on eventually telling me that he had gotten home at ~10:30 PM after getting of his second or third job (depending on your perspective) which he works so that his wife could stay home with their young children and finish up college. They have been married for more than ten years.
When he walked in the door to his home the place was empty and there was a note in the middle of the floor telling him that "she" was done and had the kids with her. The guy was devastated.
He indicated that he had no idea there was a problem at home and had not seen it coming.
He asked me what to do. I told him call the police and file felony theft charges for cleaning out the house and kidnapping charges for taking the kids. He called me today and told me that she had also cleaned out the accounts. No hints, no fights, no warnings just gone with all the belongings, money and the kids. I told him that with two felony arrests and potential convictions that he would have a significant advantage in the future custody battle.
Of course it is possible that there were significant issues that he did not share with me but with the knowledge of the situation that I have now I have to say I think this was a really crappy way to go about doing it. I will give my own XW (no kids) credit. After 9mos of counseling she said she was done and moved out. It was no surprise. Fine, leave but be adult enough about it to talk to your spouse and father/mother of your children and let them know where the kids will be and when you can see them.
He had been talking recently how his older two children by a previous marriage were close to aging out from under CS and he could quit his 2nd and 3rd jobs to spend more time with his family. I guess he ran out of time.
My wife and I slept very close together after we got back to sleep. What a crappy way to find out that you have lost your family.
Hug your kids and SO's tonight.
Sad, very sad.
Best regards,
- Rags's blog
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Comments
Wow. That is indeed sad. I feel so bad for that poor guy
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
How could you do that to a man who is working several jobs to keep the family afloat?
No matter what issues I have with H, when we deal with them, everything will be on the up and up, at least on my end.
I was straightforward and honest in my first divorce, and got shafted because the ex wasn't. But I still believe in doing the right thing. The moral cost of doing the wrong thing is just too high.
Unless a woman or a child is being physically abused, there's no excuse for this type of behaviour. None whatsoever.
That sucks
Really... that really sucks, I feel for the guy, hes got some rough times ahead.
Some states will allow you
Some states will allow you to sue for adandonment, but you can't file charges for theft for taking your own things & money or kidnapping your own kids if there's no custody order, unless she took them across state lines. Poor guy.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
That is horrible.. and what
That is horrible.. and what a crappy time of year to pick to do something like that. Could stay through the holidays!?!?! and discuss it like an adult.
I would tell him also to close those bank accounts and any money direct deposited to those accounts should be rerouted to a new bank account, so that she doesnt drain that out of him. Tell him to NOT put that past her. Tell him to do it now.. For most employees, tomorrow is pay day.
I will keep your employee in my thoughts.
My ex husband's
first wife did that to him. They were divorced though, he lived about 2 hours from her and the kids. He went to their house on his scheduled weekend visit to pick up the kids and the house was empty, and there was a cleaning lady there. She had gotten married and moved the kids from CA to TX overnight. The two youngest kids were about 4th and 6th grades at the time. There were 3 older sons who didn't go with her. After he located them they finally told him their mom had gotten married a month ago to an old BF in TX and moved the kids. That was the beginning of a long drawn out court battle, which my ex did not win!
Wow, I hope he has some contacts and can find out where she and the kids are.
That's really sad
what a way to ruin your child's holiday!
Check out "The List"...
Rags, as I'm sure you already know, men are getting screwed left, right and centre. I have been reading a website focused on men's custody and divorce issues and they have what they call "The List". It is a comprehensive list of how men should conduct themselves during a contensious divorce. The link is http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divorce_forum.
Please, please, please direct your employee to check this out now because in the beginning stages of a separation and divorce this information is invaluable.
I wish the best of luck to your employee. I remained stunned about how some women behave. It's digusting.
We all smile in the same language
BM Did this to my BF
BM left BF a number of times but the very first time he walked into his home and found it completing empty, even down to somthing BF mounted onto a wall, BM ripped it out and took it, it wasn't even hers. He says now the an echo noise of no furniture in a house creeps him out to this day. Thankfully BM only went to her mothers but BF didn't find out for a couple of days where his kids were.
What a horrible thing to go through. All the best to your employee.